Dear Shira, the editors, and readers,
Thanks for this important article.
Noticing since this was written in 2012, brings me to wonder – what has changed in almost a decade?
A lot.
But one thing is for sure, not only is obesity still an issue in religious communities – eating disorders are up there too. did you know, EDs are twice as prominent in religious Jewish communities?
It is precisely because our observance involves food and we live in times of abundance that we get tripped up – how do we learn to mindfully eat, as the article explains? How do we master that skill?
And again, why has so little improved in the last decades?
Certainly, it’s not a lack of information, but rather, an abundance of information on latest diets, that only contribute to the confusion when they don’t end up working (“yo-yo dieting”, loose weight, gain weight).
I would like to suggest, as a binge-eating disorder survivor myself, and now a wellness and ED recovery coach for Jewish women, that the lack of healthy habits is a symptom of lack of emotional regulation and stress management, coupled with the abundance of food and religious obligatory opportunities to eat, as it were (Shabbos, simchas), as well as the the general abundance and being at home more since the pandemic). And the general attitude that being healthy is hard and not “geshmak.” Healthy eating has a bad rap of restriction and gets limited to whole grains and salad, which simply does not appeal to many (happy to debunk this myth, if you like).
Additionally, as per the article, if someone lost weight in the community, I would strongly avoid putting them in a public place of sharing – each person’s journey is specific to them and their body and soul, and advice should not be taken by a lay person, but rather, a trained professional. As inspirational as each person’s story is, please be wary of thinking, “they lost weight doing it that way, so that should work for me too.” as explained with mindful eating – it’s not so much what you eat, it’s how you eat it, and why. Which is radically different from person to person.
Please note also, that health and wellness goes far beyond the scope of food and exercise – the whole person, with spiritual, emotional, mental, and social needs, must be taken into account when trying to find a healthier lifestyle. Note lifestyle – science has been showing the research that diets lead to eventual failure – restriction leads to eventual weight gain. Please trust that this is a new era, and that there is a more wholesome way to combat obesity and ill-health other than pure weight loss as per any diet.
I encourage anyone seeking to improve their own, their family’s, and/or their communities’ health to reach out for specific guidance, and I am happy to provide resources. And as a youth and community outreach professional and ED survivor, I am all for improving community health and wellness!
Thanks for the opportunity to reflect on this and share.
To your health and happiness!
Miriam
miriamcarr.com/contact
I came across your letter on the website responding to overweight and eD.
I have two boys aged 12 and 19 who are extremely overweight. I am really concerned about my 12 yr old.
I have taken him the regular route, dieticians and Drs. I have been looking for a more support group like program.
I know they are out there for woman, I have been on one or two and there are some for men, but no one really seems to know about any for kids.
anyway, I live in israel, and I have been searching the net looking for solutions that do not involve smartphones or preferable no interenet at all
if you have any advice on this issue please let me know
thanks in advance
Rachel
While we tried hard to limit our children’s access to sugar, we were consistently thwarted by our children getting candy in school as a reward for good answers as well as in shul by well intentioned “candy men .” shul. I realize that ‘sweetness’ has a long and storied association with Torah learning, but we need to pay more attention to our children’s health ..
This article was written 10 years ago and since that time things have changed where I live in Toronto Canada. There are more Same Sex exercise venues and also Same Sex personal trainers and private gyms than 10 years ago. The Moslem women have seen that the local city swimming pools have “ladies only hours”.
It all start with young girls trying to look “thin as a stick” for the shidduch market and all that entails. Drinking Booze and with every shot adding “Le Chaim” to LIFE?????? is really moranic. Booze is in no way Life Enhancing. At our shul kiddush the men get all the brown food Kuggel-Cholent-Kishka why is this? Ladies get the colourful salads and fruits.
Saying that Shabbos is a time to let go and forget our healthy eating plans is not effective.
The Jewish Community really needs a wake up and realize that we cannot serve Hashem with a desecrated temple. Our body is our temple to serve Hashem…take care of it.
Let’s see, from 1st grade onward we have our kids sit in their seats for 8 hours a day with brief breaks to eat unhealthy snacks. Rewards are usually with food. Kids watch their parents stuff their faces at kiddish after sitting through a three hour ravening. I can go on and on. None of what I mentioned is required by halacha and these are all fixable issues. But I have tried to call for change only to be shot down. We do this to ourselves.
As a frum Jew, I think wehave a definite advantage when it comes to eating unhealthy or high calorie food. We already have fantastic willpower when it comes to eating nonkosher food. Think of using that same process when it comes to over-eating or avoiding unhealthy food
My children are currently in camp and are daily plied with more sugar and candy than we eat all year. My 3 year old used to call sugar snap peas candy and now he made a fake burger out of cake with Laffy Taffy lettuce and jelly bean tomatoes. Their peers are used to it and regularly bring junk instead of healthy food. They aren’t given enough time to eat a healthy lunch, nor are they encouraged to drink water, and I’ve started sending them juice with lunch just to ensure they don’t get dehydrated. Most kids get soda or punch. My sister in law suffers the long term effects of the anorexia she developed at Beis Yaakov. I lost friends because I was one of the few women refused to get sucked into the Optavia cult. Everyone is shocked my kids love fruit and veggies, but won’t touch lettuce because it’s too hard to check for bugs. Kids grow up drinking nut or soy milk or soda because chalav yisrael is too expensive or rotten. When the school provides breakfast, it’s sugar cereal, when they provide lunch, it’s pizza or hot dogs. There is no qualified gym class, no health and nutrition classes, and science is ignored. I think teaching children healthy habits is important, prioritizing health over chumras, and recognizing anorexia and bulemia are just as much of a problem as obesity are important. My mom’s sister has been obese her whole life, but ate healthy food and is healthy, while my mom was anorexic in high school, thin her whole life, excercised heavily and had a poor diet and is in terrible shape now. My aunt looks 10 years younger than her age and my mother 20 years older. My aunt has had no stroke or major problems. My mother, multiple strokes and liver failure. A friend’s brother was lauded for losing 100 lbs and keeled over dead while excersizing in his 20’s. It’s not just about a number on a scale.
Shira, thank you for this great article.
One issue that is rarely discussed in the Jewish community is our tendency toward type II diabetes as we age. This is true even of people who are careful to eat very reasonable portions. Many of us also find it hard to lose weight even if we eat a carefully portioned Weight Watcher type diet (I am one of those people). This is often an issue of insulin oversecretion
Everyone who is overweight should consider getting a glucose tolerance test and insulin secretion test (fasting insulin and insulin level after a glucose challenge). I discovered I secrete four times the normal amount of insulin–something many Jews suffer from.
I’ve switched to a very low carb diet, with no rice, pasta, regular flour,potatoes, very little fruit, etc On Shabbos I don’t eat regular challah but make something instead with almond flour. I have learned to cook delicious foods, with international flavor. Eating this way has helped my connection to Hashem because it is about the experience of Purim, not the hamentashen now :).
Dear Shira, the editors, and readers,
Thanks for this important article.
Noticing since this was written in 2012, brings me to wonder – what has changed in almost a decade?
A lot.
But one thing is for sure, not only is obesity still an issue in religious communities – eating disorders are up there too. did you know, EDs are twice as prominent in religious Jewish communities?
It is precisely because our observance involves food and we live in times of abundance that we get tripped up – how do we learn to mindfully eat, as the article explains? How do we master that skill?
And again, why has so little improved in the last decades?
Certainly, it’s not a lack of information, but rather, an abundance of information on latest diets, that only contribute to the confusion when they don’t end up working (“yo-yo dieting”, loose weight, gain weight).
I would like to suggest, as a binge-eating disorder survivor myself, and now a wellness and ED recovery coach for Jewish women, that the lack of healthy habits is a symptom of lack of emotional regulation and stress management, coupled with the abundance of food and religious obligatory opportunities to eat, as it were (Shabbos, simchas), as well as the the general abundance and being at home more since the pandemic). And the general attitude that being healthy is hard and not “geshmak.” Healthy eating has a bad rap of restriction and gets limited to whole grains and salad, which simply does not appeal to many (happy to debunk this myth, if you like).
Additionally, as per the article, if someone lost weight in the community, I would strongly avoid putting them in a public place of sharing – each person’s journey is specific to them and their body and soul, and advice should not be taken by a lay person, but rather, a trained professional. As inspirational as each person’s story is, please be wary of thinking, “they lost weight doing it that way, so that should work for me too.” as explained with mindful eating – it’s not so much what you eat, it’s how you eat it, and why. Which is radically different from person to person.
Please note also, that health and wellness goes far beyond the scope of food and exercise – the whole person, with spiritual, emotional, mental, and social needs, must be taken into account when trying to find a healthier lifestyle. Note lifestyle – science has been showing the research that diets lead to eventual failure – restriction leads to eventual weight gain. Please trust that this is a new era, and that there is a more wholesome way to combat obesity and ill-health other than pure weight loss as per any diet.
I encourage anyone seeking to improve their own, their family’s, and/or their communities’ health to reach out for specific guidance, and I am happy to provide resources. And as a youth and community outreach professional and ED survivor, I am all for improving community health and wellness!
Thanks for the opportunity to reflect on this and share.
To your health and happiness!
Miriam
miriamcarr.com/contact
I came across your letter on the website responding to overweight and eD.
I have two boys aged 12 and 19 who are extremely overweight. I am really concerned about my 12 yr old.
I have taken him the regular route, dieticians and Drs. I have been looking for a more support group like program.
I know they are out there for woman, I have been on one or two and there are some for men, but no one really seems to know about any for kids.
anyway, I live in israel, and I have been searching the net looking for solutions that do not involve smartphones or preferable no interenet at all
if you have any advice on this issue please let me know
thanks in advance
Rachel
While we tried hard to limit our children’s access to sugar, we were consistently thwarted by our children getting candy in school as a reward for good answers as well as in shul by well intentioned “candy men .” shul. I realize that ‘sweetness’ has a long and storied association with Torah learning, but we need to pay more attention to our children’s health ..
This article was written 10 years ago and since that time things have changed where I live in Toronto Canada. There are more Same Sex exercise venues and also Same Sex personal trainers and private gyms than 10 years ago. The Moslem women have seen that the local city swimming pools have “ladies only hours”.
It all start with young girls trying to look “thin as a stick” for the shidduch market and all that entails. Drinking Booze and with every shot adding “Le Chaim” to LIFE?????? is really moranic. Booze is in no way Life Enhancing. At our shul kiddush the men get all the brown food Kuggel-Cholent-Kishka why is this? Ladies get the colourful salads and fruits.
Saying that Shabbos is a time to let go and forget our healthy eating plans is not effective.
The Jewish Community really needs a wake up and realize that we cannot serve Hashem with a desecrated temple. Our body is our temple to serve Hashem…take care of it.
Let’s see, from 1st grade onward we have our kids sit in their seats for 8 hours a day with brief breaks to eat unhealthy snacks. Rewards are usually with food. Kids watch their parents stuff their faces at kiddish after sitting through a three hour ravening. I can go on and on. None of what I mentioned is required by halacha and these are all fixable issues. But I have tried to call for change only to be shot down. We do this to ourselves.
As a frum Jew, I think wehave a definite advantage when it comes to eating unhealthy or high calorie food. We already have fantastic willpower when it comes to eating nonkosher food. Think of using that same process when it comes to over-eating or avoiding unhealthy food
My children are currently in camp and are daily plied with more sugar and candy than we eat all year. My 3 year old used to call sugar snap peas candy and now he made a fake burger out of cake with Laffy Taffy lettuce and jelly bean tomatoes. Their peers are used to it and regularly bring junk instead of healthy food. They aren’t given enough time to eat a healthy lunch, nor are they encouraged to drink water, and I’ve started sending them juice with lunch just to ensure they don’t get dehydrated. Most kids get soda or punch. My sister in law suffers the long term effects of the anorexia she developed at Beis Yaakov. I lost friends because I was one of the few women refused to get sucked into the Optavia cult. Everyone is shocked my kids love fruit and veggies, but won’t touch lettuce because it’s too hard to check for bugs. Kids grow up drinking nut or soy milk or soda because chalav yisrael is too expensive or rotten. When the school provides breakfast, it’s sugar cereal, when they provide lunch, it’s pizza or hot dogs. There is no qualified gym class, no health and nutrition classes, and science is ignored. I think teaching children healthy habits is important, prioritizing health over chumras, and recognizing anorexia and bulemia are just as much of a problem as obesity are important. My mom’s sister has been obese her whole life, but ate healthy food and is healthy, while my mom was anorexic in high school, thin her whole life, excercised heavily and had a poor diet and is in terrible shape now. My aunt looks 10 years younger than her age and my mother 20 years older. My aunt has had no stroke or major problems. My mother, multiple strokes and liver failure. A friend’s brother was lauded for losing 100 lbs and keeled over dead while excersizing in his 20’s. It’s not just about a number on a scale.
Shira, thank you for this great article.
One issue that is rarely discussed in the Jewish community is our tendency toward type II diabetes as we age. This is true even of people who are careful to eat very reasonable portions. Many of us also find it hard to lose weight even if we eat a carefully portioned Weight Watcher type diet (I am one of those people). This is often an issue of insulin oversecretion
Everyone who is overweight should consider getting a glucose tolerance test and insulin secretion test (fasting insulin and insulin level after a glucose challenge). I discovered I secrete four times the normal amount of insulin–something many Jews suffer from.
I’ve switched to a very low carb diet, with no rice, pasta, regular flour,potatoes, very little fruit, etc On Shabbos I don’t eat regular challah but make something instead with almond flour. I have learned to cook delicious foods, with international flavor. Eating this way has helped my connection to Hashem because it is about the experience of Purim, not the hamentashen now :).