{"id":14255,"date":"2016-09-20T12:58:38","date_gmt":"2016-09-20T12:58:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/?p=14255"},"modified":"2020-07-27T08:15:52","modified_gmt":"2020-07-27T08:15:52","slug":"walking-suffering-orthodox-woman-chaplain-helps-patients-journeys","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/religion\/women\/walking-suffering-orthodox-woman-chaplain-helps-patients-journeys\/","title":{"rendered":"Walking With Them in Their Suffering: An Orthodox Woman Chaplain Helps Patients On Their Journeys"},"content":{"rendered":"

By Larry Bernstein<\/em><\/p>\n

\"heda1\"<\/a>

Photos courtesy of HealthCare Chaplaincy Network<\/span><\/p><\/div>\n

\u00a0<\/em>After the ways of God you should walk\u00a0\u00a0 . . . [that is,] to emulate His attributes . . . . Just as God visits the sick, as it is written, \u2018And Hashem saw [Avraham] on the plains of Mamre,\u2019 so should you [visit the sick] <\/em>(Sotah <\/em>14a).<\/p>\n

Margo\u00a0Heda, staff chaplain at the Hospital for Special Surgery (HSS) in Manhattan, is inspired by this imperative every day. \u201cChaplains are spiritual \u2018accompaniers,\u2019\u00a0and we try to assist patients through a number of avenues,\u201d says Heda, a mother of two teenage boys from Northern New Jersey. \u201cIt\u2019s a privilege and a mitzvah to walk a few steps with a patient on his or her journey.\u201d Heda has been working as a chaplain at HSS since 2012.<\/p>\n

Heda, who has master\u2019s degrees in Jewish education and in music, sometimes uses song to connect to and soothe her patients. In her work helping patients and their families cope with illness, loss, grief and transition, Heda has seen that music has the power to \u201cchange the air in the room.\u201d\u00a0She was once working with a dying patient, and the woman\u2019s breathing was belabored. While talking to the family members present, who were struggling with their own pain and grief, Heda found out that the patient loved Yiddish music. Heda began to softly sing a Yiddish lullaby; after a few moments, to her surprise, the woman\u2019s breathing became calmer and more relaxed. Another time Heda sang to a patient who was considered unresponsive. While she sang, she suddenly noticed the patient appeared to be crying.<\/p>\n

Prior to becoming a chaplain, Heda spent a few years running a therapeutic music program for the frail elderly and those afflicted with dementia. \u201cWorking with this population influenced me greatly with regard to the power of music,\u201d she says. \u201cOften those with severe memory issues came alive when I led them in song, remembering lyrics and getting up to dance. It was remarkably transforming.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"heda<\/a>Chaplains serve in many different arenas including\u00a0prisons, the military, senior care or extended care facilities, the corporate world, sports teams and hospitals. Heda knew she wanted to work in a hospital because \u201cpeople in a hospital are in an especially\u00a0vulnerable position.\u201d She works with patients, their families and the staff. \u201cTo quote my first teacher,\u00a0I walk a little way with them in their suffering.\u201d Heda also oversees kashrut, bikur cholim <\/em>and Jewish programming at the hospital. Jewish chaplains, explains Heda, need an advanced level of Jewish education and clinical chaplaincy training; they do not require semichah.<\/em><\/p>\n

What a chaplain does in a hospital varies by the facility. HSS uses a unit-based model. In this approach, a chaplain could see any and all patients in a particular unit, irrespective of their religious affiliation. Heda visits those patients who request to see a chaplain as well as those referred by staff. \u201cI\u2019m there to accompany the patient where he or she is at that time.\u201d Heda adheres to the philosophy of chaplaincy which views the patient as a \u201cliving human document,\u201d which means it is her job to study and learn about the person in order to figure out how to best understand and help him or her.\u00a0\u201cWe start with the individual,\u201d says Heda. She strives to hear the patients\u2019 voices, fears and struggles, as well as their sources of meaning and strength.<\/p>\n

While Heda is one of a few Orthodox women to be board certified as a chaplain, she believes that chaplaincy is a place where Orthodox women can make a significant\u00a0difference. It\u2019s a gender-neutral activity and there are no halachic barriers. In fact, Heda is currently mentoring a Satmar woman who aspires to be a chaplain, and she would welcome the opportunity to work with more Orthodox women.<\/p>\n

\"heda3\"<\/a>Rabbi Daniel Coleman is a board-certified chaplain\u00a0trained in the art of providing quality spiritual support.\u00a0He is the spiritual caregiver at North Shore University Hospital located in New York\u2019s Long Island, and is the only full-time chaplain at the massive hospital. Though he spends time each day working with the hospital staff and in the ICU, Rabbi Coleman says that there\u2019s no such thing as a typical day. \u201cMy job,\u201d he says, \u201cis primarily listening.\u201d This is in contrast with the role a pulpit rabbi may play when visiting a congregant. Rabbi Coleman says a rabbi or clergy member is often perceived as having a specific agenda, such as encouraging emunah,<\/em> doing mitzvot <\/em>or being a defense lawyer for God. Not so with a chaplain. \u201cI can sit with a patient in times when he or she may feel lonely or that no one understands them, and listen empathetically,\u201d says Rabbi Coleman. \u201cIn the ICU, there\u2019s no such thing as a superficial conversation.\u201d<\/p>\n

The patients Heda works with come from different religions\u00a0and backgrounds. But Heda adds, \u201cChaplains are not to push religious beliefs on anyone.\u00a0It would be malpractice to do so.\u201d While working with a Muslim patient who did not know English, Heda needed a translator. During one session, the translator warned\u00a0Heda, \u201cMuslims often do not\u00a0like to pray with people of other faiths.\u201d Having worked with the patient in the past, Heda was confident that she could be of help during this visit as well. At the end of the visit, the patient\u2019s son said to Heda, \u201cThere are two suns in New York\u2014one that shines in the sky, and you who are shining for my family.\u201d For Heda, this experience emphasized how spiritual care can transcend cultural and religious boundaries.<\/p>\n

When visiting with Jewish patients, Heda lets them know that she is Jewish too, because they often assume that\u00a0chaplain\u00a0means non-Jewish clergy. She finds that Jews are afraid they are \u201cgoing to be evangelized.\u201d She makes it clear, however, that she is not a rabbi. Once trust and rapport have been established and people understand that she is not there to push a\u00a0particular point of view, Heda has no problem identifying herself as a\u00a0Modern Orthodox\u00a0Jew\u00a0if patients ask about her religious affiliation.\u00a0With her more observant\u00a0Jewish patients, Heda describes herself as a\u00a0\u201cKlal Yisrael-nik.\u201d <\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cThis usually gets me some looks of confusion, and I have to repeat it more than once until people understand what I am saying,\u201d says Heda.\u00a0\u201cIt\u2019s not a common label, but it\u2019s one I connect to deeply.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"heda<\/a>Neshama: the National Association of Jewish Chaplains (NAJC) sets certification standards and certifies qualified Jewish chaplains.\u00a0Cecille Allman Asekoff, the executive vice president who has worked with NAJC for twenty-five years,\u00a0says the organization is part of a\u00a0multi-faith\u00a0collaborative of professional\u00a0chaplaincy groups of North America.\u00a0Together,\u00a0these groups\u00a0developed\u00a0common ethical, educational and certification requirements for\u00a0professional\u00a0chaplaincy. However, each organization is able to\u00a0add to the\u00a0common standards and obligations. For example, NAJC added a Jewish education and theological component to Jewish chaplaincy requirements. Asekoff\u00a0notes, \u201cWe certify Jewish chaplains and not chaplains who happen to be Jewish.\u201d<\/p>\n

To be a Jewish\u00a0chaplain, one must have advanced Jewish education\u00a0or its equivalent\u00a0and be competent with rituals and texts. To become board certified, one must complete four 400-hour units of Clinical Pastoral Education (CPE) classes.<\/p>\n

According to Asekoff, the CPE units are intense and challenging. \u201cIn addition to\u00a0completing\u00a0the training,\u00a0to be an effective chaplain you have to be someone who cares about the world, who wants to make a difference in the individual\u2019s life and sees him or herself as part of the medical team,\u201d says Asekoff.<\/p>\n

\"Margo<\/a>

Margo Heda meets with a patient at the Hospital for Special Surgery in Manhattan.<\/p><\/div>\n

Asekoff was the one who encouraged Heda to enter the program. \u201cI detected in her the qualities one needs to be a chaplain.\u201d It was clearly the right call. Heda was hooked after one class, as chaplaincy includes the fields she is most interested in: spirituality, psychology, theology and ethics.<\/p>\n

Rabbi Coleman feels that women are especially well suited for the role of a chaplain. He points to the Kel Malei Rachamim prayer, recited for the soul of the departed. Rachamim<\/em> means compassion, and its root, rechem<\/em>, means womb. This alludes to the fact that mothers generally\u00a0have a special ability to be nurturing and compassionate, says Rabbi Coleman. Similarly, Rabbi Coleman also notes that when making a mi sheberach,<\/em> a public prayer or blessing recited in shul for an individual in need of healing or other form of Divine help, we use the mother\u2019s name. Rabbi Coleman believes that women are inherently gifted with qualities that are at the heart of professional chaplaincy.<\/p>\n

Heda takes great pride in studies that show how chaplains improve patient outcomes and satisfaction. \u201cSpiritual care is rightfully part of best practices in the healthcare setting\u00a0where increasingly, there is a desire to treat the whole patient: body, mind and spirit.\u201d<\/p>\n

Larry Bernstein is a freelance writer from Fair Lawn, New Jersey.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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