{"id":15466,"date":"2017-06-22T14:41:40","date_gmt":"2017-06-22T14:41:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/?p=15466"},"modified":"2020-07-27T08:15:07","modified_gmt":"2020-07-27T08:15:07","slug":"letters-12","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/letters\/letters-12\/","title":{"rendered":"Letters"},"content":{"rendered":"

How a Minhag<\/em> Evolved<\/strong>
\nI have followed with interest the discussion concerning standing for a chatan<\/em> and kallah<\/em> as they walk down the aisle (\u201cWhat\u2019s the Truth about Standing for a Chatan<\/em> and Kallah?,<\/em>\u201d by Ari Zivotofsky [winter 2016]). This now-universal practice was virtually unheard of until the late 1980s. It is difficult to imagine that from the 1940s until the 1980s, when thousands of weddings were presided over by rabbanim<\/em> and roshei yeshivah<\/em> of a generation ago, the then-universal practice of remaining seated was halachically problematic. In fact, I have read that Rabbi Moshe Feinstein, Rabbi Yaakov Kamenetzky and Rabbi Yitzchak Hutner, zichronam livrachah<\/em>, all did not stand during the chuppah<\/em> procession. I would ask the following of Jewish Action<\/em> readers: If you were married before 1990, take out your wedding album. Most likely, you will not see anyone standing while you and your spouse walked down the aisle. This is a fascinating demonstration of how minhagim<\/em> evolve.<\/p>\n

Peretz Perl<\/strong>
\nBrooklyn, New York<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The Effects of Divorce<\/strong>
\nThank you for your excellent coverage of a topic that needs to be addressed\u2014divorce\u00a0and its effects on children (spring 2017). I especially appreciated Avigail Rosenberg\u2019s \u201cChildren After Divorce,\u201d which was practical and encouraging. \u201cThe Data on Divorce\u201d interview with clinical psychologist Dr. Yitzchak Schechter was helpful as well\u2014hard facts are indisputable. However, statistics do not reflect the whole story. For example, in the study cited, when questioned, many divorced\u00a0people said that they were doing well. How was that measured? Are their children not suffering from the breakup of their homes? Thanks again for your wonderful magazine.<\/p>\n

Malka Kaganoff<\/strong>
\nJerusalem, Israel<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Parental alienation is a significant problem in the Orthodox community that should have been addressed in your articles on divorce. Unfortunately, the topic is rarely acknowledged by the community or by community leaders. Too many parents suffer silently each day, hoping that someday their children will realize that there is another side to the story, and that the alienated parent still loves and cares for\u00a0them, despite what they may have been told. I am hopeful that one day I will reconnect with my children.
\nAnonymous<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Dr. Yitzchak Schechter Responds<\/strong>
\nI thank the letter writers for their important comments. It is gratifying to see that the article is generating much discussion. Parental alienation and the effects of divorce on children are two very important aspects that require further analysis and study. As I mentioned in the interview, we have only begun to release the findings of our study of divorce in the Orthodox community. Data is essential to turn insight into action. As important as data is, however, it is not<\/em> the be all and end all of decision-making nor the sum total of people\u2019s experiences. There are many other pieces to consider with regard to divorce, and we do not pretend that our current understanding is comprehensive. There is much work for us and others to do, and I look forward to keeping Jewish Action<\/em> readers updated as further findings emerge.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

IVF, Gender Selection and halachah<\/strong>
\nIn \u201cThe Future of Reproductive Medicine: What Does Halachah Say?\u201d (spring 2017), the authors write: \u201cRegarding sex selection using IVF, only when there are medical reasons to engage in IVF can sex selection be considered as a halachic option.\u201d<\/p>\n

Rabbi Dr. Avraham Steinberg, author of the Encyclopedia Hilchatit Refuit<\/em> (Encyclopedia of Jewish Medical Ethics<\/em>), recently wrote the following in an e-mail to me: \u201cI spoke with Rabbi Asher Weiss and Rabbi Zalman Nechemia Goldberg and both clearly stated that there is no halachic prohibition to [engage in] IVF-PGD in order to have the other gender in [the] case of [a family] with four or five children [of the same gender]. Rabbi Weiss added that he does not encourage a couple to do so, but if asked\u2014and there is a strong [desire from the parents] to have the other gender\u2014he allows it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Richard V. Grazi, MD<\/strong>
\nGenesis Fertility and Reproductive Medicine
\nBrooklyn, New York<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Memories of the Six-Day War<\/strong>
\nI very much appreciated your section on the Six-Day War (\u201cJerusalem Reunited: 50 Years\u201d [spring 2017]).<\/p>\n

In my mind, Yom Yerushalayim is tied to a different time and place. Fifty years ago, my husband, Rabbi Saul Koss, was an American army chaplain and we were stationed in Germany. Several times a year, a retreat would be held for Jewish personnel and their families stationed throughout Europe; these were held at Hitler\u2019s famous mountain retreat center in Berchtesgaden, Germany, which had been taken over by the US military.<\/p>\n

On the evening of June 7, 1967, in the midst of one such retreat, a number of us were sitting in a local caf\u00e9, discussing the escalating war in Israel when the conductor of an Austrian band that had been playing came over to our table (the kippot<\/em> revealed our identity). He cried: \u201cJerusalem is in your\u00a0hands!\u201d Suddenly, the band suddenly began playing Hava Nagilah and we, full of emotion, celebrated this extraordinary victory, while stamping our feet on the ashes of Hitler.\u00a0Here we were in the heartland of Nazism and we were not only still around, but we had won!<\/p>\n

Susan Koss<\/strong>
\nSilver Spring, Maryland<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

How a Minhag Evolved I have followed with interest the discussion concerning standing for a chatan and kallah as they walk down the aisle (\u201cWhat\u2019s the Truth about Standing for a Chatan and Kallah?,\u201d by Ari Zivotofsky [winter 2016]). This now-universal practice was virtually unheard of until the late 1980s. It is difficult to imagine […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":718,"featured_media":15170,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"ep_exclude_from_search":false,"_cloudinary_featured_overwrite":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[30],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-15466","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-letters","issues-summer-20175777"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nLetters - Jewish Action<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"How a Minhag Evolved I have followed with interest the discussion concerning standing for a chatan and kallah as they walk down the aisle (\u201cWhat\u2019s the\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/letters\/letters-12\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Letters - Jewish Action\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"How a Minhag Evolved I have followed with interest the discussion concerning standing for a chatan and kallah as they walk down the aisle (\u201cWhat\u2019s the\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/letters\/letters-12\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Jewish Action\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/JewishAction\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2017-06-22T14:41:40+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2020-07-27T08:15:07+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/res.cloudinary.com\/ouwp\/images\/f_auto,q_auto\/v1679403957\/Jewishaction\/paper-letter\/paper-letter.jpg?_i=AA\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1920\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"1175\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/letters\/letters-12\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/letters\/letters-12\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"\",\"@id\":\"\"},\"headline\":\"Letters\",\"datePublished\":\"2017-06-22T14:41:40+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2020-07-27T08:15:07+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/letters\/letters-12\/\"},\"wordCount\":866,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/wp\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/letters\/letters-12\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/res.cloudinary.com\/ouwp\/images\/f_auto,q_auto\/v1679403957\/Jewishaction\/paper-letter\/paper-letter.jpg?_i=AA\",\"articleSection\":[\"Letters\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/letters\/letters-12\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/letters\/letters-12\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/letters\/letters-12\/\",\"name\":\"Letters - Jewish Action\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/wp\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/letters\/letters-12\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/letters\/letters-12\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/res.cloudinary.com\/ouwp\/images\/f_auto,q_auto\/v1679403957\/Jewishaction\/paper-letter\/paper-letter.jpg?_i=AA\",\"datePublished\":\"2017-06-22T14:41:40+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2020-07-27T08:15:07+00:00\",\"description\":\"How a Minhag Evolved I have followed with interest the discussion concerning standing for a chatan and kallah as they walk down the aisle (\u201cWhat\u2019s the\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/letters\/letters-12\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/letters\/letters-12\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/letters\/letters-12\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/res.cloudinary.com\/ouwp\/images\/f_auto,q_auto\/v1679403957\/Jewishaction\/paper-letter\/paper-letter.jpg?_i=AA\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/res.cloudinary.com\/ouwp\/images\/f_auto,q_auto\/v1679403957\/Jewishaction\/paper-letter\/paper-letter.jpg?_i=AA\",\"width\":1920,\"height\":1175},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/letters\/letters-12\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Letters\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/wp\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/wp\/\",\"name\":\"Jewish Action\",\"description\":\"Jewish Action | A publication of the Orthodox Union\",\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/wp\/#organization\"},\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/wp\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Organization\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/wp\/#organization\",\"name\":\"Jewish Action\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/wp\/\",\"logo\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/wp\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/jewish-action-logo.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/jewish-action-logo.png\",\"width\":253,\"height\":74,\"caption\":\"Jewish Action\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/wp\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\"},\"sameAs\":[\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/JewishAction\",\"https:\/\/x.com\/Jewish_Action\"]},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/wp\/author\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Letters - Jewish Action","description":"How a Minhag Evolved I have followed with interest the discussion concerning standing for a chatan and kallah as they walk down the aisle (\u201cWhat\u2019s the","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/letters\/letters-12\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Letters - Jewish Action","og_description":"How a Minhag Evolved I have followed with interest the discussion concerning standing for a chatan and kallah as they walk down the aisle (\u201cWhat\u2019s the","og_url":"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/letters\/letters-12\/","og_site_name":"Jewish Action","article_publisher":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/JewishAction","article_published_time":"2017-06-22T14:41:40+00:00","article_modified_time":"2020-07-27T08:15:07+00:00","og_image":[{"width":1920,"height":1175,"url":"https:\/\/res.cloudinary.com\/ouwp\/images\/f_auto,q_auto\/v1679403957\/Jewishaction\/paper-letter\/paper-letter.jpg?_i=AA","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"twitter_misc":{"Written by":"","Est. reading time":"4 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/letters\/letters-12\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/letters\/letters-12\/"},"author":{"name":"","@id":""},"headline":"Letters","datePublished":"2017-06-22T14:41:40+00:00","dateModified":"2020-07-27T08:15:07+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/letters\/letters-12\/"},"wordCount":866,"commentCount":0,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/wp\/#organization"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/letters\/letters-12\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/res.cloudinary.com\/ouwp\/images\/f_auto,q_auto\/v1679403957\/Jewishaction\/paper-letter\/paper-letter.jpg?_i=AA","articleSection":["Letters"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/letters\/letters-12\/#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/letters\/letters-12\/","url":"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/letters\/letters-12\/","name":"Letters - Jewish Action","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/wp\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/letters\/letters-12\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/letters\/letters-12\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/res.cloudinary.com\/ouwp\/images\/f_auto,q_auto\/v1679403957\/Jewishaction\/paper-letter\/paper-letter.jpg?_i=AA","datePublished":"2017-06-22T14:41:40+00:00","dateModified":"2020-07-27T08:15:07+00:00","description":"How a Minhag Evolved I have followed with interest the discussion concerning standing for a chatan and kallah as they walk down the aisle (\u201cWhat\u2019s the","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/letters\/letters-12\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/letters\/letters-12\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/letters\/letters-12\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/res.cloudinary.com\/ouwp\/images\/f_auto,q_auto\/v1679403957\/Jewishaction\/paper-letter\/paper-letter.jpg?_i=AA","contentUrl":"https:\/\/res.cloudinary.com\/ouwp\/images\/f_auto,q_auto\/v1679403957\/Jewishaction\/paper-letter\/paper-letter.jpg?_i=AA","width":1920,"height":1175},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/letters\/letters-12\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Letters"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/wp\/#website","url":"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/wp\/","name":"Jewish Action","description":"Jewish Action | A publication of the Orthodox Union","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/wp\/#organization"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/wp\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/wp\/#organization","name":"Jewish Action","url":"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/wp\/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/wp\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/jewish-action-logo.png","contentUrl":"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/jewish-action-logo.png","width":253,"height":74,"caption":"Jewish Action"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/wp\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/"},"sameAs":["https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/JewishAction","https:\/\/x.com\/Jewish_Action"]},{"@type":"Person","@id":"","url":"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/wp\/author\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15466","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/718"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=15466"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15466\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":18887,"href":"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15466\/revisions\/18887"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/15170"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=15466"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=15466"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=15466"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}