{"id":15688,"date":"2017-09-15T14:57:15","date_gmt":"2017-09-15T14:57:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/?p=15688"},"modified":"2020-07-27T08:15:03","modified_gmt":"2020-07-27T08:15:03","slug":"talking-rabbi-binyomin-eisenberger","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/religion\/shabbat-holidays\/rosh-hashanah\/talking-rabbi-binyomin-eisenberger\/","title":{"rendered":"Talking with Rabbi Binyomin Eisenberger"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"<\/a>

Photo: Sruly Klein<\/em><\/p><\/div>\n

OU President Moishe (Mark) Bane discusses some of the challenges of prayer with Rabbi Binyomin Eisenberger, a prominent New York <\/em>rav who serves as the leader of Khal Heichal Hatefillah in Boro Park, New York. Rav Eisenberger delivers <\/em>shiurim throughout the New York area and is the author of <\/em>Mesillos HaNevi\u2019im on <\/em>Nach and <\/em>Mesillos Bilvavam on the weekly <\/em>parashah.<\/em><\/p>\n

Moishe Bane: Why is <\/strong>tefillah<\/em><\/strong> such a difficult mitzvah for so many?<\/strong>
\nRabbi Eisenberger:<\/strong> The challenges we face with tefillah<\/em> reflect a general struggle we experience in our avodas Hashem<\/em>. First, some background is necessary. After Matan Torah<\/em> (the Giving of the Torah), when Moshe Rabbeinu didn\u2019t descend from the mountain when Bnei Yisrael expected him to, they committed what is considered one of the greatest sins of all time: Chet Ha\u2019egel, <\/em>the Sin of the Golden Calf. Upon descending from the mountain and hearing what was going on in the camp, Moshe Rabbeinu proceeded to break the Luchos<\/em>, the Tablets. In response to this, Hakadosh Baruch Hu said, \u201cYasher koach she\u2019shibarta<\/em>, Thank you for breaking them.\u201d Why did Moshe break the Luchos<\/em>? And even more puzzling, why is Hashem thanking him for breaking them?<\/p>\n

The Meshech Chachmah,<\/em> as well as other sefarim<\/em>, explains that Am Yisrael failed to realize that Yiddishkeit<\/em> is all about connecting to Hakadosh Baruch Hu, and all of the mitzvos<\/em> are the means to achieve that. Even Moshe Rabbeinu, who reached the level of being \u201cchetzyo ul\u2019maalah Elokim, chetzyo ul\u2019matah ish<\/em>\u2014partially Godly and partially of this world,\u201d served as an intermediary between us and Hakadosh Baruch Hu. If one fails to realize that mitzvos<\/em> or other intermediaries are but a means to a goal, and the means become a goal in and of itself\u2014the rebbe<\/em> or the mitzvah becomes the focal point instead of Hashem\u2014that\u2019s no longer Yiddishkeit<\/em>. That is, in fact, a modernized version of Chet Ha\u2019egel. Despite the fact that Moshe didn\u2019t appear at the anticipated time, Am Yisrael should have maintained their own connection with Hakadosh Baruch Hu. When Moshe Rabbeinu saw that on some level, Bnei Yisrael deified him, he realized the potential danger in the Luchos<\/em>; he feared the Luchos <\/em>would be reduced to ceremonial objects that would be deified as well. So Moshe Rabbeinu shattered them, as if to say, \u201cLet\u2019s see if Am Yisrael can connect to Hakadosh Baruch Hu without them.\u201d Only afterward, when the Jewish nation proved that they could bond with Hakadosh Baruch Hu directly and understand that ultimately, that\u2019s the entire purpose of Torah and mitzvos<\/em>, did Hakadosh Baruch Hu consent to give Klal Yisrael the Luchos Sheniyos<\/em> (Second Tablets).<\/p>\n

All of the mitzvos<\/em> are a means toward one goal\u2014deveikus<\/em> (cleaving to Hashem). But if one\u2019s shemiras hamitzvos<\/em> is not about deveikus<\/em>, about being a mevakesh<\/em> (a seeker of Hashem), and one\u2019s Torah observance is reduced to the superficial performance of mitzvos<\/em>\u2014such as Shabbos, kashrus<\/em> and taharas hamishpachah<\/em>\u2014then tefillah<\/em> will suffer the most. This is because tefillah<\/em> is the expression of the intimate connection between an individual and Hashem.<\/p>\n

Tefillah<\/em> is essentially focusing on the concept that one is always standing before Hashem, shivisi Hashem l\u2019negdi samid<\/em>. According to halachah, one is not even allowed to pass in front of someone who is davening<\/em> Shemoneh Esrei because he\u2019s in the midst of having a conversation with Hakadosh Baruch Hu. When one manages to internalize this reality, it is only natural that he will want to pour out his heart in gratitude and beseech Hashem for all of his needs.<\/p>\n

Moishe Bane: Is spontaneous prayer more effective than structured <\/strong>tefillah<\/em><\/strong>? <\/strong>
\nRabbi Eisenberger:<\/strong> Before Ezra and his beis din<\/em> established the nusach hatefillah<\/em>, there was no fixed time and no specific form of prayer. Tefillah<\/em> meant that every day, when one felt the urge to pray, he turned to Hashem and spoke to Him. One instinctively felt the need to thank Hashem for everything and plead with Him for that which he was missing. Subsequently, Ezra and his beis din<\/em> formalized the prayers. The benefit of having a nusach<\/em> is that nowadays, anyone can simply open a siddur<\/em> and find an appropriate expression of his appreciation, desires and needs. As an aside, the words of the tefillos<\/em> themselves have special spiritual powers as well as mystical meanings\u2014in fact, even the number of letters contained in the words of the prayers, as well as the numerical value of the words have significance. But there\u2019s a drawback to having a formalized text for the prayers. Suddenly, instead of being an organic way of communicating with Hashem, tefillah<\/em> can now become something cold, totally external, reflecting no kesher <\/em>(connection), no regesh<\/em> (fervor), no awareness of shivisi Hashem l\u2019negdi samid<\/em>. You leave shul and somebody asks you, \u201cWhat did you say to Hashem today?\u201d And you say, \u201cOh, I didn\u2019t realize I was talking to Hashem\u2014but I davened<\/em>!\u201d<\/p>\n

Our avodah<\/em> (task) today is basically to regain the penimius<\/em> (essence) of tefillah<\/em> so that it is not a davar chitzoni<\/em>, an external act. If one performs a mitzvah even without any kavanah<\/em> (thoughtful intent), it registers; it\u2019s almost like it\u2019s bar-coded. As long as one learns Torah, it makes an impact. Tefillah<\/em>, however, is different. By definition, it requires an emotional investment. \u201c\u2018U\u2019le\u2019avdo bechol levavchem;\u2019 eizohu avodah she\u2019balev, zo tefillah\u2014<\/em>\u2018And to serve Him with all of your heart;\u2019 what is service of the heart? It is prayer.\u201d (Tannit 2a) There needs to be an understanding that one is conversing with Hashem.<\/p>\n

Moishe Bane: Does <\/strong>tefillah<\/em><\/strong> have to be an emotional experience?<\/strong>
\nRabbi Eisenberger:<\/strong> You don\u2019t need to become emotional during davening<\/em>. But you have to have peace of mind in order to daven<\/em>. You can\u2019t be distracted by the millions of different distractions that we have today, more so than in any previous generation because we carry the distractions with us into shul. If one has the intellectual awareness of Hashem\u2019s presence, and focuses on the fact that Hashem is behind everything that\u2019s going on in his life, it\u2019s only natural for that to result in some kind of emotional experience. When one walks into shul, one should feel \u201cI\u2019m burdened, I\u2019m troubled, et cetera.\u201d But when one walks out of shul, he should feel a certain sense of relief\u2014not because all of his questions were answered or his requests were fulfilled, but just the experience of davening<\/em> and connecting should provide a sense of comfort and relief.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s a beautiful parable recounted by the Chofetz Chaim. A man went to a doctor and received a grim diagnosis. For months, his wife pleaded with him to get a second opinion from a top specialist, and he finally agreed to go. Upon returning home from the visit, he turned to his wife and said, \u201cYou know, I finally met the friend of a lifetime, someone who understands me, someone with whom I can really communicate.\u201d And his wife said, \u201cI sent you to get a second opinion regarding your illness. I sent you to get a cure. Who cares about making friends?\u201d The Chofetz Chaim explains that the wife in the parable is, of course, right. The point of the visit was to procure a cure, not to create a relationship.<\/p>\n

When it comes to tefillah<\/em>, however, it is solely about the relationship. Take, for instance, an individual who, after praying, turns to his friend and says, \u201cYou know I feel so connected to Hashem.\u201d His friend says, \u201cYes, but did you get what you wanted (a raise, a new car, et cetera)? Did you benefit in any way?\u201d The answer is, of course, yes. The deepening of the relationship is the reward. The primary benefit of prayer is the relationship that develops\u2014any other gain he may have achieved from praying is a bonus. The needs themselves are there to cause one to turn to Hashem and deepen his connection to his Creator.<\/p>\n

Moishe Bane: How does a person who never experienced such an emotional connection achieve it? What steps can he take to get to that point?<\/strong>
\nRabbi Eisenberger:<\/strong> I don\u2019t think the answer relates only to tefillah<\/em>; it concerns one\u2019s general attitude toward living a Torah life. The Zohar Hakadosh<\/em> refers to taryag mitzvos<\/em> as \u201ctaryag ittin<\/em>,\u201d 613 different ways to connect to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Tzitzis<\/em> gives you one kind of connection, tefillin a different connection, limud haTorah<\/em> another, et cetera. But in each case you need to realize you\u2019re making a connection with Hashem. When you don your tallis<\/em> and tefillin, you need to realize that this is a way to deepen your relationship with Hakadosh Baruch Hu.<\/p>\n

Moishe Bane: But those who don\u2019t understand the words of the <\/strong>tefillah<\/em><\/strong> have an especially difficult time making the experience meaningful. <\/strong>
\nRabbi Eisenberger:<\/strong> If one doesn\u2019t understand the words in Shemoneh Esrei, for example, it\u2019s very difficult to daven<\/em> with feeling. It\u2019s similar to telling an individual to call a friend, but to speak to him in Spanish, when his mother tongue is English and he doesn\u2019t speak a word of Spanish. Now one could hand him a paper with Spanish words on it, which he could then read, but if he wants to converse with someone he loves and cares for, and he\u2019s speaking a language that he totally doesn\u2019t understand, it\u2019s going to be difficult.<\/p>\n

Nevertheless, davening<\/em> only in one\u2019s native tongue is not a perfect solution either. Lashon Kodesh<\/em> has a kedushah<\/em> (holiness) irrespective whether or not one understands the words. The Chofetz Chaim discusses this in Hilchos Krias Shema<\/em>. A siddur <\/em>with a translation helps, but it\u2019s limited because there isn\u2019t enough time to accomplish all that needs to be accomplished\u2014you have to read the Hebrew, understand the translation and connect to Hashem all in a matter of half an hour. One suggestion is to daven<\/em> the nusach hatefillah<\/em> with a concerted effort to understand the words; additionally, we should actually speak to Hashem in our very own language, using our very own words where permitted during tefillah<\/em>\u2014as well as before and after. By engaging in informal conversations with Hakadosh Baruch Hu, we set the tone for a personal connection to the one and only Hashem Who loves us and eagerly awaits our tefillos<\/em>. This applies to all communities\u2014even in communites where individuals understand Hebrew and are Jewishly well-educated; talking to Hakadosh Baruch Hu in one\u2019s own language creates a different kind of connection.<\/p>\n

One can talk to Hakadosh Baruch Hu anywhere. A shul, however, does have a special kedushah<\/em>. Every place where there\u2019s a minyan, there\u2019s hashra\u2019as haShechinah<\/em>, the Divine Presence is found.<\/p>\n

Moishe Bane: What can one do to deepen his <\/strong>tefillah<\/em><\/strong> experience?<\/strong>
\nRabbi Eisenberger: <\/strong>There\u2019s no easy way. One needs to study the tefillos<\/em>. And there are many sefarim<\/em> out there, accessible and in English. Some help with understanding the peshat<\/em> of the prayers, some offer a deeper dimension.<\/p>\n

An example: in the siddur<\/em>, there are so many different ways to refer to Hakadosh Baruch Hu\u2014Keil<\/em>, Tzevakos<\/em>, Shakkai<\/em>, Yud Kei Vav Kei<\/em>, Elokim<\/em>, Elokeinu<\/em>. Why? Each time the siddur<\/em> refers to Hakadosh Baruch Hu with a different \u201cName,\u201d there\u2019s a reason, a significance to that. We are so sophisticated today in our understanding of many different subjects. But when it comes to Yiddishkeit<\/em>, very often our understanding remains on a pre-1A level. Some of us are still davening<\/em> Shemoneh Esrei like we did when we were back in elementary school. Shouldn\u2019t we take the time to see the depth there is? No one gets into a cockpit without going through the training. So why would you spend your life davening<\/em> three times a day every day without devoting at least a little time to understand what you are saying?<\/p>\n

Moishe Bane: Women don\u2019t have an obligation to go to shul and <\/strong>daven<\/em><\/strong> with a minyan. Is that intended to give them a different <\/strong>tefillah<\/em><\/strong> opportunity?<\/strong>
\nRabbi Eisenberger:<\/strong> Women by virtue of the beautiful nature that Hakadosh Baruch Hu gave them make good daveners<\/em>. Mystically speaking, they have less difficulty acknowledging their vulnerabilities.<\/p>\n

While women are exempt from minyan and formal prayer, they\u2019re not exempt from having a relationship with Hakadosh Baruch Hu and expressing it through tefillah<\/em>. There are different opinions regarding their halachic obligations, but irrespective of that, women can turn to Hakadosh Baruch Hu any time throughout the day and say, \u201cHashem, please make my day successful, et cetera.\u201d Just talking to Hashem from one\u2019s heart in one\u2019s own language is a very high level of tefillah<\/em>.<\/p>\n

For those who have a hard time acknowledging their vulnerability and dependency on Hakadosh Baruch Hu, davening<\/em> can be difficult. When it comes to tefillah<\/em>, one needs to be humble. When one realizes how vulnerable he is, and how profoundly he needs Hakadosh Baruch Hu, he can connect in a very deep way. One who believes \u201ckochi v\u2019otzem yadi<\/em>\u201d\u2014that he is in charge of his own destiny, and that through his own intelligence, or wealth or influence, he is pulling the strings of his life and getting things done\u2014is going to have a hard time with tefillah<\/em>.<\/p>\n

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Photo: Yehoshua Halevi<\/em><\/p><\/div>\n

Moishe Bane:<\/strong> Let\u2019s shift for a moment and discuss children and <\/strong>tefillah<\/em><\/strong>. At what age should a child be brought to shul?<\/strong>
\nRabbi Eisenberger:<\/strong> A child can be brought to shul when he or she can participate and daven<\/em>; even if he\u2019s not davening<\/em> the entire time, he should not be spending the time running around and disturbing others. Parents should not push children to go to shul before they are actually ready to spend the time in shul properly. It\u2019s also important that children have positive experiences and warm feelings about shul so that they\u2019ll be drawn to it later in life. If young children, for example, associate shul with the candies they get from the candy man, shul is then associated with something sweet. It\u2019s no different from the honey that we put on the aleph beis<\/em> to ensure that a young child\u2019s first experience with learning Torah is sweet.<\/p>\n

Moishe Bane: Is it preferable for teens to <\/strong>daven<\/em><\/strong> with a teen minyan or to <\/strong>daven<\/em><\/strong> with their parents? <\/strong>
\nRabbi Eisenberger: <\/strong>I don\u2019t think there\u2019s a clear-cut answer. It depends on the shul. Some shuls can create an atmosphere where teenagers can stand side by side with their fathers and be happy about it. Other shuls can\u2019t. I\u2019ve been in shuls where teens are sent to the amud<\/em> or serve as gabbai<\/em>; in some shuls, the speed and the rhythm of the tefillah<\/em> work for teenagers, and in other shuls, they don\u2019t. A teenager definitely needs to be happy in shul. He needs to be comfortable.<\/p>\n

Moishe Bane: How do we train adolescents to have <\/strong>kavanah<\/em><\/strong>, when teens have such a hard time focusing on anything for more than a few minutes? <\/strong>
\nRabbi Eisenberger:<\/strong> I was in a shul the other day davening<\/em> Shacharis and I couldn\u2019t help but notice a thirteen- or fourteen-year-old boy, in middle of davening<\/em>, continuously taking his phone out of his pocket. This is one of the spiritual challenges of our time. But this problem does not only apply to tefillah<\/em>. Because of the constant distractions, it can be difficult to have an ordinary conversation with another individual. You sit in an airport and see two people sitting next to each other, but each one is in his or her own world. People can no longer embrace an individual and give him five undisturbed minutes. I once heard that one of the signs of the coming of Mashiach<\/em> is when Jews will not even be able to concentrate on the words \u201cShema Yisrael, Hashem Elokeinu, Hashem Echad<\/em>.\u201d There will be a time when even those few words will require a level of concentration that we simply don\u2019t have.<\/p>\n

People don\u2019t have the menuchas hanefesh<\/em> (tranquility) to focus. And that\u2019s actually the gift of Shabbos, because Shabbos forces us to disconnect; and by disconnecting, we are able to connect.<\/p>\n

It is rare to find the word \u201ctaavah<\/em>,\u201d desire, in relation to Hashem. But Chazal say that \u201cHakadosh Baruch Hu misaveh l\u2019tefillasam shel tzaddikim<\/em>,\u201d Hashem desires the tefillos<\/em> of tzaddikim<\/em>. In the spirit of \u201camech kulam tzaddikim<\/em>, [in truth] all of Israel are tzaddikim,<\/em>\u201d Hashem is waiting to hear all of our tefillos<\/em>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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