{"id":22885,"date":"2022-05-20T14:49:30","date_gmt":"2022-05-20T14:49:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/?p=22885"},"modified":"2022-05-26T14:51:54","modified_gmt":"2022-05-26T14:51:54","slug":"a-mother-of-autism","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/poetry\/a-mother-of-autism\/","title":{"rendered":"A Mother of Autism"},"content":{"rendered":"

Readers are invited to use this forum to express personal views and address issues of concern to fellow Jews. Opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect the policy or opinion of the Orthodox Union.<\/em><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Last night as I lay down,
\nto put my boys to bed,
\nsome powerful words
\npopped into my head.<\/p>\n

I wrote them down
\nso I wouldn\u2019t forget.
\nI couldn\u2019t stop writing,
\nmy hands would not let.<\/p>\n

So much to say
\nbut hard to explain,
\nthe simultaneous
\nextreme love and pain.<\/p>\n

If you have a child with autism,
\nyou know what I mean.
\nSo here starts my\u00a0poem
\nabout a hard routine . . .<\/p>\n

The daily struggle
\nof putting on socks,
\nand a plain bagel,
\nno cream cheese, no lox.<\/p>\n

Foods separate,
\nnothing can touch,
\nno hugs or kisses,
\n\u201cToo tight, too much!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot eating anymore!\u201d
\n\u201cIt\u2019s mushy!, It\u2019s wet.\u201d
\nFood thrown on the floor,
\nthe broom, I\u2019ll go get.<\/p>\n

\u201cNot comfy!\u201d he\u2019ll yell,
\nas he rips off his clothes;
\n\u201cWhat\u2019s that disgusting smell
\nright in my nose?\u201d<\/p>\n

Shoes thrown at the wall,
\nthe fit wasn\u2019t right,
\nto the floor he\u2019ll fall
\nand scream with all his might.<\/p>\n

Now we\u2019ll be late,
\nthe stress starts to build,
\nto rush he will hate,
\nhe just wants to yield.<\/p>\n

Overwhelmed by each task
\nand commands to comply,
\nhe tries hard to mask
\nbut he just wants to cry.<\/p>\n

Finally, we make it
\nto the family event,
\nI\u2019m one foot from him
\nbut he doesn\u2019t see where I went.<\/p>\n

Scared and alone,
\nhe looks around;
\nimmediate hysteria
\nalthough I am found.<\/p>\n

Pulling on my dress,
\nclinging to my legs,
\nfeeling stress,
\nmy son begs:<\/p>\n

\u201cStay with me, Mommy,
\ndon\u2019t go.\u201d
\nI hold him tightly
\nand love him so.<\/p>\n

More party guests come;
\nit gets busy and loud.
\nHe starts to feel glum,
\nit\u2019s too large a crowd.<\/p>\n

Covering his ears,
\nhe panics a bit,
\nrocking and humming,
\nin the corner we sit.<\/p>\n

He hides in the tent;
\nit\u2019s safer in there;
\nthe noise of others
\nis too much to bear.<\/p>\n

Fixated, he\u2019ll stim;
\n\u201cRepeat\u201d will start.
\nI can\u2019t comfort him,
\nand that breaks my heart.<\/p>\n

Now tender,
\nhis skin is thin.
\nOne small trigger,
\nthe meltdowns begin.<\/p>\n

Daddy picks him up,
\nhe hates unwanted touch,
\nabout to erupt,
\nit\u2019s all just too much.<\/p>\n

No way, no how;
\nstereotypy begins.
\nThe sounds of a cow,
\nhe kicks Daddy in the shin.<\/p>\n

\u201cMoooo,\u201d he won\u2019t look at me;
\nhis eyes look up to the side.
\nHe can\u2019t focus, he can\u2019t see . . .
\nhe cannot abide.<\/p>\n

Tears pour down,
\nhis sweet little face.
\nNow, with a frown,
\nhe no longer needs space.<\/p>\n

He needs a \u201cmama hug,\u201d
\nI am there right away!
\nTo the floor I drop,
\nand on me he\u2019ll lay.<\/p>\n

Some days, long cuddles;
\nother days a quick hug
\nbut always on
\nhis favorite soft rug.<\/p>\n

\u201cI am his voice
\nand he is my heart,\u201d
\nit\u2019s been this way
\nright from the start.<\/p>\n

A mother of autism;
\nI have been picked,
\nto grow and raise
\nthis most beautiful gift.<\/p>\n

Chaya Rochel Leyton is the proud mother of two boys. Her passions are promoting autism acceptance, infertility awareness and empowerment for Jewish women. Originally from Los Angeles, she currently lives in Henderson, Nevada, with her family.<\/em>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

If you have a child with autism \/ you know what I mean. \/So here starts my\u00a0poem \/ about a hard routine…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":390,"featured_media":22886,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"ep_exclude_from_search":false,"_cloudinary_featured_overwrite":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[68,74,83],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-22885","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-family","category-opinion","category-poetry","issues-summer-20225782"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nA Mother of Autism - Jewish Action<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"If you have a child with autism \/ you know what I mean. \/So here starts my\u00a0poem \/ about a hard routine...\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/poetry\/a-mother-of-autism\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"A Mother of Autism - 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