{"id":5626,"date":"2001-09-18T20:05:55","date_gmt":"2001-09-18T20:05:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jewishaction.com\/?p=5626"},"modified":"2020-07-27T08:23:50","modified_gmt":"2020-07-27T08:23:50","slug":"shaar-hashamayim-com-a-story-for-the-days-of-awe","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/religion\/inspiration\/shaar-hashamayim-com-a-story-for-the-days-of-awe\/","title":{"rendered":"Shaar Hashamayim.com: A Story for the Days of Awe"},"content":{"rendered":"

By Yaakov Luban<\/em><\/p>\n

About 100 years ago, the Chofetz Chaim suggested that motion pictures were invented to help human beings visualize Divine judgment. We will all give an accounting for our actions after seeing a \u201cmovie\u201d of our past misdeeds. Today, with the help of computer technology, we can find further insight into spiritual realities.<\/em><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t know if Harry (name changed to protect his identity) really saw it or if he just imagined the whole thing. Either way, the experience shook him to the core and changed my life as well. Neither of us have been the same after that fateful evening.<\/p>\n

It took place on a stormy night in the midst of the Days of Awe (Aseret Yemei Teshuvah). The wind was howling and the thunder crackling. I had a strange premonition that something eerie was about to occur, and my apprehension was soon confirmed by an anxious tapping on my front door. Opening the door, I saw Harry with his hair disheveled, his shirt untucked and a look of excitement in his eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou look like you have just seen a ghost,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n

\u201cMore frightening than that,\u201d he replied. \u201cI\u2019ve just been through the Shaar Hashamayim<\/em> (Gate of the Heavens)!\u201d He proceeded to tell me the whole fantastic tale.<\/p>\n

\u201cI had been surfing the web for some time when I heard a clap of thunder. The lights went out for a few moments. When the power was restored, I saw a strange new icon on my computer screen: a ladder reaching into the heavens with angels going up and down. Under the ladder, there appeared the intriguing name Shaar Hashamayim<\/em>.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Naturally, I was cynical. \u2018Sure. Hashem has a web site and uses Windows 2000.\u2019 Still, I couldn’t contain my curiosity and clicked on the icon.<\/p>\n

Three columns appeared: the Book of Life<\/em>, the Book of Death<\/em> and Undecided. \u2018What a cute idea for Aseret Yemei Teshuvah,\u2019 I thought. Just for fun, I typed my name into the search field. To my disbelief, my name appeared in the Undecided column.<\/p>\n

Annoyed at what appeared to be a practical joke, I clicked on my name. A new screen opened up with a chilling sight…Harry: Age 47, <\/em>Mitzvot (good deeds): 49,832,562, <\/em>Aveirot (sins): 62,521,724, Status: <\/em>Rasha (evil).<\/em><\/p>\n

While somewhat unsettled, I still couldn\u2019t believe that this was real. I was soon convinced otherwise. Clicking on the mitzvot<\/em> and aveirot<\/em> links, I saw tables with entries documenting every second of my life. Shocked, I scrolled down one of the tables:<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I randomly highlighted January 12, 1970:<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

On my Windows Media Player I saw a playback of what happened some 30 years earlier. I was davening<\/em> in yeshivah with what appeared to be intense kavanah<\/em>. Then I heard a playback of the voice inside my head: \u2018Shema Yisrael<\/em>, if I win the lottery what should I buy first? Hashem Elokeinu<\/em>, a Jaguar or a Rolls? Hashem Echad<\/em>.\u2019<\/p>\n

In a frenzy, I highlighted other entries. Some of the mitzvot <\/em>were impressive, but the aveirot<\/em> were terribly embarrassing. My whole life was recorded in precise detail. I had forgotten most of these events, but here they were in hypertext links!<\/p>\n

As if responding to my thoughts, a message flickered across the screen:<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I had never realized that \u201cThe Book\u201d was written in HTML!<\/p>\n

Was this a protected site? King Solomon\u2019s statement at the end of Kohelet<\/em>–\u2018The final thing, everything is heard\u2019–took on new meaning. The Targum<\/em> (the Aramaic translation) understands this to mean that all acts performed in private will become public knowledge in the world to come. I shivered at the thought of my friends logging on to my file and viewing my entire life.<\/p>\n

\u2018Stay calm and don\u2019t worry,\u2019 I thought. \u2018I\u2019m probably in good company. Surely my friends are in the same boat as I am.\u2019 Then, my eye caught an option on the tool bar entitled \u2018Ranking.\u2019 I opened the screen and found that I could view my status in relation to various groups. My notions of religious superiority melted away. I was in the bottom 23rd percentile of my group of friends and even lower when compared to other groups.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>A cloud hung over my head. I always assumed that God automatically inscribed me in the Book of Life<\/em>; now I saw that I was in the Undecided column and with good reason. I thought of my family who needed me and my plans for the future. I was too young to die and was scared.<\/p>\n

Then I had a stroke of genius. Why not use the delete key to wipe out my sordid past? My slate would be clean and I would be moved to the Book of Life<\/em>. With a trembling hand, I highlighted a long list of aveirot<\/em>, and pressed the delete key.<\/p>\n

A new message popped up:<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

In desperation, I hit the help button. Maybe an angel would fly out and help me out of this terrible mess, I thought.<\/p>\n

Instead of an angel, this message appeared:<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Of course. How simple. Why didn\u2019t I figure that out myself? I made a fist, tapped my chest a few times and began reciting Vidui<\/em>. I was doing okay when another message popped up.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

There was no use pretending in the Divine Court.<\/p>\n

I began thinking about the millions of aveirot<\/em> I had committed. I never realized how often I sinned in the course of each day. I was classified as a rasha<\/em> because of my inadequacies and indiscretions.<\/p>\n

Overcome with remorse, I regretted having wasted my years and compromised my values. I promised myself that if I survived this mess, the future would be different. Suddenly, the computer screen began flashing and my media player was automatically enabled, playing joyous music. A new message appeared on the screen:<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I couldn\u2019t believe it. Was it really so easy to erase the past? I quickly highlighted all the sins I had ever committed and scrolled through millions of entries with lightning speed. Anxiously, I pressed the delete key again. All the sins between man and God disappeared in a flash. (Teshuvah<\/em> is not effective for sins between man and man until one asks forgiveness from the offended party; I am still struggling with this dimension.) Suddenly, I was a new man with a clean slate. The past was gone. I checked my status on the initial screen; I was now a tzaddik<\/em> (righteous person) inscribed in the Book of Life<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Although I should have been ecstatic, I now felt like a person with no past. All those seconds wasted. Millions of opportunities tossed into oblivion. Hashem had been so kind to me; even when I was a rasha<\/em>, He provided my every need, and I reciprocated with ingratitude and destructive behavior. I knew that my aveirot<\/em> had distanced me from my Creator; I now felt a longing to move closer to Hashem. My thoughts were interrupted by another flashing message:<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I then remembered the Talmudic statement (Yoma 86b) that if teshuvah<\/em> is motivated by ahavah<\/em> (love of Hashem) all aveirot<\/em> are transformed to mitzvot<\/em>. Past sins actually become a positive force in one\u2019s life.<\/p>\n

Was it possible that my sorry life was now redeemed? I checked my mitzvah<\/em> column and found that I had 89,364,252 mitzvot <\/em>to my credit. What an amazing windfall. All my aveirot<\/em> were converted into mitzvot.<\/em><\/p>\n

I was dumbfounded. Every year in the past, Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur flew by, offering golden opportunities I consistently missed. Yes, while sitting in shul<\/em> I tried to do teshuvah<\/em>, but was I ever really sincere? What a terrible loss! I am so lucky to have seen the light.\u201d<\/p>\n

Just as Harry concluded his story, he leaped towards me, grabbed my lapels and shook me. He was yelling, and at first I could not grasp what he was saying.<\/p>\n

\u201cTell them, Yankel, tell them,\u201d he shouted.<\/p>\n

\u201cTell who, Harry?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTell the people. You must tell them.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTell them what?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTell them they are all crazy!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy, Harry?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBecause they use the delete key on their PC\u2019s, but they don\u2019t delete what really counts.\u201d<\/p>\n

And in a flash, Harry ran out.<\/p>\n

\u201cHarry, where are you going?\u201d I called after him.<\/p>\n

\u201cBack to Shaar Hashamayim<\/em>.\u201d And he was gone.<\/p>\n

I recently received an e-mail message from Harry. Now he\u2019s Rav Chaim and is living in the Old City near the Kotel Hama\u2019aravi<\/em>, the real Shaar Hashamayim<\/em> that Yaakov Avinu<\/em> saw in his dream.<\/p>\n

Harry\u2019s last words still ring in my ears. \u201cThey use the delete key on their PC\u2019s, but they don\u2019t delete what really counts.\u201d<\/p>\n

It\u2019s a powerful message. And that is why I shared this story with you.<\/p>\n

Rabbi Luban is the executive rabbinic coordinator of the Kashruth Department at the Orthodox Union. He is the rabbi of Congregation Ohr Torah in Edison, NJ.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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