Tragedy does not define us, but how we respond to it does.<\/b><\/p><\/blockquote>\n
There are many ways to deal with suffering, and we could never be so brazen as to judge the reaction of anyone who has endured pain or loss. We can, however, observe which of these reactions helps the sufferer move forward and overcome his distress. A person can fall apart, become hysterical or dysfunctional, get angry and relentlessly question, \u201cWhy did this happen to me?\u201d While this is probably the most natural response, it holds one captive to his pain because he will never get a satisfactory answer to the \u201cwhy me\u201d question.<\/p>\n
Others may accept their lot with equanimity: bad things happen to everyone, now it is my turn. I will bear the suffering because it is the hand I have been dealt. This is certainly a more constructive approach than the former, as it allows a person to accept his circumstance as inevitable, knowing that the difficulty will eventually pass and maybe even be forgotten.<\/p>\n
But there is another level of acceptance, one that, according to the Rav, makes all the difference: accepting pain and suffering with dignity and humility. This is radically different than accepting suffering with equanimity, which enables a person to persevere through hardship but offers no meaning or purpose to the suffering. The dignity and humility of a human being derives from the fact that we are all created in the image of God, b\u2019tzelem Elokim<\/i>. Accepting God\u2019s decrees with humility means we acknowledge the Hand of God, even as we cannot fathom His plan for unleashing such fury. Accepting our defeat against evil and suffering with dignity means we heroically attempt to assert our humanity, our spark of Divinity, even in the midst of the incomprehensible. With dignity, we don\u2019t just endure, we uplift; we don\u2019t passively accept, we actively rebuild; we don\u2019t ask why, we ask what can we do to make it better and how will we lead our lives differently as a result of this experience.<\/p>\n
I am awed and overwhelmed by the dignified way we as a people, as a community and as a family, accepted our defeat against the forces of nature. We were there for each other\u2014\u201cImo anochi b\u2019tzarah<\/i>, I am with you in times of trouble.\u201d Busloads of volunteers traveled to hard-hit communities to help with the cleanup efforts. People who had generators or were lucky enough to have power ran virtual hotels for those who didn\u2019t. Their doors, kitchens, bedrooms, outlets and hot showers were available to all\u2014not just to friends and family, but to total strangers as well. The community in Silver Spring, Maryland, sent buses to New York to pick up fellow Jews and host them for a Shabbat that would otherwise have been cold and dark. Noah\u2019s Ark and Shelly\u2019s, restaurants in Teaneck, New Jersey, provided a refrigerated truck where people could store their perishable food that would have spoiled in the extended power outage, saving families thousands of dollars. Countless shuls and schools offered meals, warmth, power and chizuk<\/i> to the general population in their communities\u2014not just to fellow Jews. People donated clothing, supplies and money so generously and with such sensitivity, as the recipients were, for the most part, not people who were used to taking. The dignity we extended to each other in this unprecedented time of need was truly extraordinary\u2014\u201cV\u2019chavod v\u2019hadar t\u2019atreihu<\/i>, And [You] crowned [mankind] with soul and splendor\u201d (Tehillim 8:6).<\/p>\n
How can we face such a tragic reality and at the same time be optimistic about what the future holds? Because we face it not with defeat, not with equanimity, but with dignity. Because the tragedy does not define us, but how we respond to it does. One of the underlying precepts of Judaism is gratitude, hakarat hatov<\/i>. Our rabbis instituted the notion that we should recite one hundred blessings every day. That translates into one hundred opportunities to spend a moment appreciating the little things that are so easily taken for granted. Hurricane Sandy, in all of its devastation, has taught us the same lesson\u2014to appreciate how precious our lives, homes and possessions are. There is dignity in realizing that when everything is literally washed away, what defines us is not our \u201cstuff,\u201d but our relationships and our altruistic acts to help alleviate the pain of others. Despite the reality of evil and suffering, and our failed attempts to eradicate these ills, we are able to have faith\u2014faith in our people, whose essence is a Godlike dignity, and faith in Hashem, whose prophet Isaiah promises that a time will come when (25:8) \u201cU\u2019macha Hashem dimah me\u2019al kol panim<\/i>, And God will erase tears from all faces.\u201d<\/p>\n
Rabbi Steven Weil is executive vice president of the Orthodox Union.<\/i><\/p>\n