{"id":8794,"date":"2013-11-06T17:35:51","date_gmt":"2013-11-06T17:35:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jewishaction.com\/?p=8794"},"modified":"2020-07-27T08:18:03","modified_gmt":"2020-07-27T08:18:03","slug":"pitfalls-avoid-obtaining-get","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jewishaction.com\/religion\/jewish-law\/pitfalls-avoid-obtaining-get\/","title":{"rendered":"Pitfalls to Avoid in Obtaining a Get"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/em>\u00a0By Rabbi Chaim Malinowitz<\/em><\/p>\n

\"scale\"<\/a><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

This article originally appeared in the winter 1999 issue of<\/em> Jewish Action.<\/strong><\/p>\n

First and foremost, do not initiate an action in the civil courts. You may feel you will do better there; you may be apprehensive about stories you have heard of corrupt batei din<\/i>; you may have heard that it is permitted today, but the irrefutable facts are that:<\/p>\n

1<\/b>.<\/b> <\/b>According to halachah<\/i>,<\/i> <\/i>going to court is forbidden except under the conditions permitted by the S<\/i>hulcha<\/i>n<\/i> <\/i>A<\/i>r<\/i>uc<\/i>h<\/i>.<\/p>\n

2.<\/b> <\/b>Going to court runs the risk of acquiring funds to which you are not halachically entitled.<\/p>\n

3.<\/b> <\/b>It carries the risk of resulting in a court-ordered\u00a0 get<\/i> <\/i>which may quite possibly be invalid.<\/p>\n

4.<\/b> <\/b>Taking this step may shut off avenues of aid such as rabbis, organizations or synagogues. Also, batei din<\/i>, as a general rule, will not order that a get<\/i> <\/i>be given while one side is pursuing the case in civil court.<\/p>\n

5.<\/b> <\/b>Civil court action can be extremely adversarial. Court raises the decibel level \u2014 beis<\/i> <\/i>din<\/i> <\/i>generally lowers it.<\/p>\n

6<\/b>.<\/b> <\/b>Civil court cases are inevitably longer, more arduous, more emotionally draining, much more expensive, more frustrating and much more subjective than a bei<\/i>s<\/i> <\/i>di<\/i>n <\/i>proceeding. It is relatively easy to obtain frequent postponements and prolong the case. You are subject to withering cross-examination; you can\u2019t simply sit and tell your story; and you run the risk of the single judge being capricious and arbitrary. If at all possible, try to have the Din<\/i> T<\/i>orah<\/i> <\/i>at an established, neutral beis din<\/i>, one that will be there tomorrow and is answerable to the public. A \u201czabl<\/i>a<\/i>\u201d [an ad<\/i> <\/i>hoc<\/i> <\/i>beis<\/i> <\/i>din<\/i> <\/i>where each litigant chooses a dayan<\/i> <\/i>and the two pick a third], which you may think is advantageous to you, always takes an effort to get ever yone together (regar d- less how pressing the matter), and is essentially answerable to no one. Z<\/i>abla<\/i> <\/i>is much more costly than the established batei di<\/i>n<\/i>. Any advantage you think your borer<\/i> <\/i>[dayan<\/i>] is gaining for you is matched by your spouse\u2019s borer<\/i> <\/i>and will turn the beis<\/i> <\/i>din<\/i> <\/i>into glorified to\u2019ani<\/i>m<\/i> <\/i>[rabbinical lawyers].<\/p>\n

It is most preferable to have an established, professional beis<\/i> <\/i>di<\/i>n<\/i>, ideally one that is internationally recognized, and especially one whose rulings and gittin <\/i>will be automatically recognized by the State of Israel.<\/p>\n

It is not essential that you bring a to\u2019ai<\/i>n<\/i>. They are expensive,\u00a0 halachically <\/i>unnecessary and may even be undesirable (see A<\/i>vos <\/i>l:8). Remember, if you have one, your adversary will surely want one too.\u00a0 At times they are unnecessarily contentious and actually lower the level of professionalism.<\/p>\n

If a settlement is suggested, consider it. Demanding everything you feel you may be entitled to may be counterproductive, increasing the chances for an insoluble crisis.<\/p>\n

A beis<\/i> <\/i>din<\/i> <\/i>functions in a judicial context. A beis<\/i> <\/i>din<\/i> <\/i>needs hard facts, proofs, even indications to support claims and accusations wherever possible. Do not demand that a beis<\/i> <\/i>din <\/i>accept your word without attempting to provide proof, even if you know you are right. It is an emotional time for all parties but a beis<\/i> <\/i>din<\/i> <\/i>cannot base verdicts on your word. Nor may a beis din<\/i> <\/i>show emotion. People mistake the daya<\/i>n<\/i>\u2019<\/i>s<\/i> <\/i>cool demeanor for a non-caring attitude.\u00a0 Also, realize that the mere desire for a get<\/i> <\/i>is not grounds for one\u2014 nor is it grounds for a heter<\/i> <\/i>meah <\/i>r<\/i>abboni<\/i>m<\/i>. Keep in mind that it is your <\/i>task to convince the beis<\/i> <\/i>din<\/i> <\/i>that objective grounds exist. Truth is absolutely necessary and the lack of it will poison the atmosphere and the problems created may be irreversible.<\/p>\n

The s<\/i>h<\/i>\u2019<\/i>tar birurim<\/i> <\/i>is the document which empowers the beis<\/i> <\/i>din<\/i>. This is a crucially important document and can be as broad or as narrow as it is allowed to be. It is in everyone\u2019s interest to broaden the beis<\/i> <\/i>di<\/i>n<\/i>\u2019s powers, so that the dayanim<\/i> <\/i>will not be strictly bound by the letter of the law; unless specifically empowered,\u00a0 a beis<\/i> <\/i>din<\/i> <\/i>must adhere to the strict letter of the law and not allow the spirit of the law to influence its verdict. The more latti tude it is given, the more issues can be dealt with; the more special circumstances can be taken into account; the more they can obligate parties more than the technically correct amount; the stronger the verdict can be; and the more they can base the rulings on their perception of the whole situation.<\/p>\n

Before signing a s<\/i>h<\/i>\u2019<\/i>t<\/i>a<\/i>r<\/i> <\/i>b<\/i>i<\/i>r<\/i>uri<\/i>m<\/i> <\/i>at a bei<\/i>s <\/i>di<\/i>n<\/i>, try to determine how the b<\/i>ei<\/i>s<\/i> <\/i>d<\/i>i<\/i>n <\/i>enforces compliance with its verdict. You should know this beis<\/i> <\/i>di<\/i>n<\/i>\u2019s general approach in advance. At times, specific powers can be granted the b<\/i>ei<\/i>s<\/i> <\/i>d<\/i>i<\/i>n<\/i> <\/i>through an addition into the s<\/i>h<\/i>\u2019<\/i>ta<\/i>r<\/i> <\/i>bi<\/i>r<\/i>uri<\/i>m<\/i>.<\/p>\n

Dayanim<\/i> <\/i>are human beings as well as members of a court. Therefore, be courteous and respectful. Be reason- able. Don\u2019t make demands merely for show or to \u201cstrengthen\u201d your position. Respond promptly to summonses, requests for information or documentation, and any and all questions. Conduct yourself in a dignified manner. The beis<\/i> <\/i>din<\/i> <\/i>will respond more favorably to requests for elaboration and\/or explanations if they are present- ed in a calm, composed manner. Don\u2019t lecture the beis<\/i> <\/i>di<\/i>n<\/i>. Remember, you are a party to the case, with a consider- able interest in the outcome. A proper beis<\/i> <\/i>din<\/i> <\/i>has no reason to be other than objective. You understandably\u00a0 feel that your future life is at stake; yet it is the beis<\/i> <\/i>din<\/i> <\/i>that is most qualified to impartially analyze your case.
\n<\/b><\/p>\n

Rabbi<\/i> <\/i>Malinowitz\u00a0<\/i>\u00a0wa<\/i>s<\/i> <\/i>a<\/i> <\/i>dayan of<\/i> <\/i>the<\/i> <\/i>Kolel <\/i>H<\/i>aRabbonim,\u00a0<\/i> <\/i>Beis Din of<\/i> <\/i>Monsey,<\/i> <\/i>New <\/i>Y<\/i>ork,<\/i> <\/i>which<\/i> <\/i>specializes<\/i> <\/i>in<\/i> <\/i>issues<\/i> <\/i>of<\/i> <\/i>marriage and<\/i> <\/i>divorce.\u00a0<\/i> <\/i>He<\/i> <\/i>is<\/i> <\/i>also<\/i> <\/i>a<\/i> <\/i>general<\/i> <\/i>editor<\/i> <\/i>of the<\/i> <\/i>Schottenstein<\/i> <\/i>Edition<\/i> <\/i>of<\/i> <\/i>the<\/i> <\/i>T<\/i>almud.<\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00a0By Rabbi Chaim Malinowitz \u00a0       This article originally appeared in the winter 1999 issue of Jewish Action. First and foremost, do not initiate an action in the civil courts. You may feel you will do better there; you may be apprehensive about stories you have heard of corrupt batei din; you may […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":718,"featured_media":8795,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"ep_exclude_from_search":false,"_cloudinary_featured_overwrite":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[65],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8794","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-jewish-law"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nPitfalls to Avoid in Obtaining a Get - Jewish Action<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"\u00a0By Rabbi Chaim Malinowitz \u00a0       This article originally appeared in the winter 1999 issue of Jewish Action. 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