In any sphere of life, whether spiritual, personal or professional, change is inevitable. It’s also usually really hard. The process of transformation can be disorienting, even disruptive. Our challenge lies not in avoiding change, but in understanding how to navigate it—how to approach it thoughtfully and, perhaps more importantly, how to manage its speed.
The recent study on attrition in the Jewish community by the OU’s Center for Communal Research (CCR) showed the impact of significant life changes—such as moving to a new city, shifting religious practices or transitioning between schools—and revealed a profound truth: abrupt changes can disrupt lives in ways that are not always healthy, even when the change itself may be positive. This insight, gathered from qualitative research (hopefully to be verified through quantitative methods) invites us to reconsider how we approach change in all facets of our lives.
One fundamental finding of the study points to a key psychological truth: even traversing small distances—whether geographic, spiritual or cultural—can create a gap that disorients and destabilizes individuals. When people experience a major life shift, like a religious awakening or a significant change in environment, the resulting friction between their previous and current selves can be profound. The risk of “flipping out”—a term often used to describe extreme or unbalanced reactions to change—is high. To make change healthy and sustainable, it must be approached gradually. It’s not about avoiding the necessary transformations but about moderating their speed and scope, allowing the individual and their community to adapt.
Ben Azzai teaches (Avot 4:2) that a person need not make drastic changes in his behavior all at once. Instead, one should take gradual steps toward improvement, following the principle of “mitzvah goreret mitzvah”—one good deed leads to another good deed. This approach is seen as a way to ensure that the individual does not become overwhelmed or disheartened by trying to accomplish too much too quickly. If we try to take on all 613 mitzvot at once, we will be overwhelmed and risk not even doing one. “A journey of a thousand miles,” said Lao Tzu, “begins with a single step.” Or, as the saying goes: “How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.”
This is true in the spiritual realm, but also in business and leadership, where abrupt shifts can destabilize not only the individual but the entire organization. When Covid-19 hit in mid-March 2020, we followed the early zeitgeist and ordered thousands of plastic gloves—which are still sitting in a box somewhere since shortly thereafter the experts shifted the focus to masks.
When changes are thrust upon us—whether through external factors like a pandemic, geopolitical instability or an economic crisis—the natural instinct may be to embrace change management, rushing forward to implement sweeping adjustments, alterations and modifications. But transformational leadership works best when it is balanced with a degree of continuity, with leaders maintaining a clear focus on stability while guiding their teams through disruption. In the case of the Covid-19 pandemic, and in some cases in the aftermath of the October 7 massacre and ensuing war, business and political leaders were faced with the challenge of maintaining continuity while pivoting rapidly to new realities. Yet even in such a crisis, a nuanced approach to change—one that allows for small wins and gradual progress— can prove to be more sustainable in the long term.
Whether it’s a business undergoing restructuring, a family dealing with a religious shift, or an individual undergoing a personal transformation, the healthiest way to approach change is with patience and nuance.
The guru of change management, John Kotter, in his “8-Step Process for Leading Change,” highlights the importance of urgency, building a guiding team and developing a compelling vision. However, he also reminds us that the process must be adaptive, recognizing that not all change can be implemented immediately. As Kotter advises, you can “keep a complicated system of people and technology running smoothly,” and “leadership is a set of processes that creates organizations in the first place or adapts them to significantly changing circumstances.” In the last few years, we have endeavored to promote a culture both internal and external to the OU focused on becoming more aware of what each part of the organization is doing and alignment across the organization. This process started slowly with periodic Town Halls and opportunities for the whole organization to learn more about other OU departments and programs, and even about individual professionals and their challenges and successes. Instead of mandating cultural change, we took small but meaningful steps—we introduced an internal podcast where we interview the incredible people who work at the OU, we provided settings and trainings for people to engage cross-departmentally, and we advanced collaborative, cross-programmatic solutions to help the klal.
This principle is not only true in the world of business but in every system that involves human beings—whether it’s a family, a religious community or an organization navigating a shift in culture or policy. Rabbi Jonathan Sacks, in his essay “Pacing Change” (Parashat Pinchas 5771, https://rabbisacks.org/covenant-conversation/pinchas/pacing-change) offers a valuable perspective on spiritual or cultural change, wherein the importance of a gradual, adaptive approach cannot be overstated. He reflects on the story of Moshe Rabbeinu, who led Bnei Yisrael out of Egypt but ultimately did not enter the Promised Land. Rabbi Sacks observes that the change Moshe sought to bring about in Bnei Yisrael was not something that could happen overnight. The Children of Israel were not ready for their own transformation from a slave nation to one that owned its destiny and land. They had to undergo a process of personal and collective growth that would take time. In the episode of the meraglim, the spies countered Moshe’s desire for immediate change, which ultimately led to failure at Merivah. This tragic series of stories highlighted the people’s inability to change quickly enough, which resulted in their denial of the Promised Land. This story underscores a key principle: change, especially deep, spiritual transformation, cannot be rushed. True leadership requires patience and the ability to manage gradual transitions.
“Vayedaber Moshe kein el Bnei Yisrael velo sham’u el Moshe mikotzer ruach u’mei’avodah kashah—Moshe related Hashem’s message to the Children of Israel, but they did not listen to Moshe because of their anguished spirit and harsh labor.” Moshe says Bnei Yisrael won’t listen to him. But to what extent does this go? In the context of finally escaping Mitzrayim to their freedom, would they really not listen to him regarding something they so desperately wanted?
The Meshech Chochmah explains: When you paint a picture of something that feels too far off, you can’t even imagine it—it feels unattainable, inaccessible. Only when Moshe Rabbeinu says “veheiveiti etchem—I will bring you to the Land, I will make it happen” can Bnei Yisrael begin to see and feel it.
The fact that the process is laid out in the four languages of redemption, and in five verbs—“vehotzeiti,” “vehitzalti,” “vega’alti,” “velakachti” and “veheiveiti”—reminds us that we cannot rush into Geulah. Chazal teach us the Geulah will be kim’a kim’a, step by step, slowly and incrementally.
Change is not simply about achieving an end goal; it’s about the process by which we get there. This is beautifully encapsulated in the metaphor used by Vivian Greene: “Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass; it’s about learning to dance in the rain.” Life—and leadership—often feels like driving through a storm. In moments of uncertainty, the key is not to wait for the storm to pass, but to learn how to navigate through it, adjusting the course as needed and embracing the discomfort along the way. The art of leadership is often about managing that discomfort, maintaining focus and leading people toward small, meaningful wins—the sixth of Kotter’s steps—that, over time, add up to transformative results.
Change is an inevitable part of life, but it need not be feared or resisted. The key is in how we approach it. Whether it’s a business undergoing restructuring, a family dealing with a religious shift, or an individual undergoing a personal transformation, the healthiest way to approach change is with patience and nuance. Like a shepherd guiding his flock, leaders must sometimes lead from behind, recognizing that change must occur at a pace that allows people to adapt. Leadership, in its most effective form, is not about forcing people to leap ahead, but about guiding them step by step, with understanding, empathy and a vision for the future. When change is managed thoughtfully, it can be the very thing that leads us to greater strength, wisdom and fulfillment.
Rabbi Dr. Josh Joseph is executive vice president/chief operating officer of the Orthodox Union.