People often think I’m apologizing when I’m really just introducing myself. It comes with the territory of being named Sari.
Over the years, though, I’ve also learned how to give a proper apology. And as a Jewish educator, I see it as an important task to help kids learn to say they’re sorry and to make amends when they mess up.
As we enter the Yamim Noraim season, here are some playful, hands-on ideas for teaching kids to apologize, perfect for a range of ages.
Don’t Be Mad (Libs!): Create a fill-in-the-blank apology note! Kids love the silliness of completing the blanks, and they also practice the proper structure of an apology.
Here’s one to try:
Dear [name of friend],
I am so [feeling word] that I [past-tense verb] your [object]. I didn’t mean to [verb] it, but I did, and now it’s [adjective].
I hope you can [verb] me. To make it better, I will [kind thing I will do to help] for you.
You are a really [adjective] friend, and I don’t want you to be [feeling word] at me.
Your friend,
[your name]
3, 2, 1 . . . Action!: Role play is a fun way to practice apologies in real time. Put on a mini show, or invite kids to join in. Create a mix of realistic and silly scenarios where a character might need to apologize. For younger kids, puppets, costumes and props make the skits extra engaging. For older kids, come up with unique or random situations that challenge them to think creatively. Role playing helps kids think on their feet while reinforcing the skills involved in giving a sincere apology.
Coupon Clipping: Sometimes, writing it down is easier than saying it out loud. Create coupons with pre-written apology notes (with space for customization) that kids can save for moments they need them. This gives kids a comfortable, concrete way to offer an apology and practice kindness.
Yom Kipologies: A few years ago, I set out to make a silly and playful game to help make practicing apologies fun. It’s easy to set up at home, or you can use a ready-to-go printable version.
How to play:
Create four decks of cards (15–20 cards each):
Deck 1: Who you’re apologizing to (ex: a friend, a teacher)
Deck 2: What you’re apologizing for (ex: something you said, something you did by accident)
Deck 3: Something involved in the apology (ex: a potato, a toy)
Deck 4: A fun twist or rule (ex: make it rhyme, turn it into a tongue twister)
Before you start, talk about what makes a good apology: being specific, explaining why it was wrong, asking for forgiveness and offering a way to make it better.
On each turn, draw one card from each deck and create an apology that fits all the prompts. Other players give a thumbs-up if they accept (or are amused by) your apology!
Take Two: Consider a “Teshuvah,” “Redo,” or “Start Over” button. When a child shows poor behavior, they can hit the button and try again. It reinforces the idea that mistakes are okay, as long as we make things right. (You can make the button or buy one online.)
Sorry Celebrations: When a child offers a genuine apology, celebrate it! A small cheer, sticker, genuine “thank you” or high-five helps kids see the value in making amends, and it encourages them to do it again next time they slip up.
An inevitability of life, if you’re human, is that you’ll mess up sometimes. The beauty is in getting back up and doing better moving forward. Let’s show kids the way!
Sari Kopitnikoff is an experiential educator, digital artist and content creator who is passionate about creating books, games, activities and shows that bring Judaism to life. You can find her books, games and lots of educational activities on her website, thatjewishmoment.com and on social media, @thatjewishmoment.