Rabbi Nathaniel (“Nati”) Helfgot occupies a distinctive place in Modern Orthodox life as a rabbi, educator, scholar and communal leader. Yet for many people, one of his most enduring contributions was not a scholarly book or a halachic essay, it was his willingness to speak publicly about depression at a time when few Orthodox Jews were prepared to do so.
In its Fall 2001 issue, exactly twenty-five years ago, Jewish Action published Rabbi Helfgot’s article, “Dimensions of Torment: A Young Man’s Story of Surviving Depression.” The essay recounted his personal battle with severe clinical depression, which began in the mid-1990s while he was a successful educator and communal figure. He described, in unusually candid language, the isolation, despair, stigma and confusion that accompanied the illness, as well as the treatment and support that ultimately helped him recover.
Today, such an article might not seem noteworthy. However, in 2001, it was revolutionary. Within much of the Orthodox community, mental illness was rarely discussed publicly. Concerns about stigma, family reputation, and shidduchim often pushed such struggles into the shadows. Rabbis and educators were seldom willing to reveal personal vulnerabilities of this kind. Rabbi Helfgot’s article challenged that culture directly by putting a respected rabbi’s own experience on the record.
The significance of the article was not merely that it described depression. It did so in a first-person voice from someone deeply embedded in the Orthodox mainstream. Readers encountered a successful rabbi, teacher and Torah scholar explaining that depression was not a failure of faith, a character defect, or a lack of religious commitment. It was an illness that required treatment, support and understanding. For many Orthodox readers, especially those struggling privately with depression or caring for family members who were, this was the first time they had seen their experiences reflected in a major communal publication. The article helped legitimize conversations that previously had taken place only behind closed doors.
A quarter century later, Rabbi Helfgot’s article stands as an early and courageous example of what we would now call mental health advocacy—written before that term was widely used in Orthodox Jewish circles. For that reason alone, it remains an important document in the history of Modern Orthodoxy’s evolving conversation about emotional and psychological well-being.
I had the opportunity to interview Rabbi Helfgot about the original article, which allowed him to reflect on its publication. Below is the transcript of our conversation.
Michael Feldstein: When you wrote your Jewish Action article in 2001, what gave you the courage to share such a deeply personal struggle at a time when mental illness was rarely discussed publicly in the Orthodox community?
Rabbi Nathaniel Helfgot: As I have remarked in the past, to speak about my struggle with depression was not truly courageous. Dealing with and struggling through major depression is what requires courage and resilience, together with the help and support from good friends and family, therapists and medication.
MF: Looking back twenty-five years later, what reactions to the article surprised you the most—both positive and negative? Were there responses that have stayed with you ever since?
RNH: In the first few months and years after the publication of the essay, I was overwhelmed by the volume of emails and phone calls that I received, both thanking me for opening this subject up and asking me for help . . . though I always demurred that I am not a therapist or clinician and directed them to professionals. I helped arrange two public conferences on this topic in 2002 and 2003 that were co-sponsored by Yeshivat Chovevei Torah Rabbinical School. I received great support from other organizations, including the OU (kudos to Rabbi Dr. Tzvi Hersh Weinreb, OU executive vice president, emeritus, who was particularly helpful in the initiative). Hundreds of individuals attended the conferences and opened the discussion even further. Nefesh International distributed the essay at some of its conferences at the time, and others made use of it as well in pastoral counseling training and the like. Even now, two decades later, from time to time when I visit another synagogue in a different state or meet a younger rabbi at a conference, someone comes up to me and says that reading the article ten or fifteen years ago had a deep impact on them and was helpful, and that they have shared it with others.
I received little negative feedback except from one acquaintance, who asked me if I wasn’t concerned about the “future” of my career in chinuch and how this article would impact it. I just answered politely, but what I truly wanted to say to this person was: “This is exactly the kind of mindset that is unhelpful and fuels the problem and stigma … and we need to counter that!” But I held my tongue.
MF: At the time of publication, did you have a specific goal in mind? Did you hope to change communal attitudes, help individuals who were suffering in silence, or simply tell your own story?
RNH: My main goal was to break down stigmas so that people would be willing to not suffer in silence, sensitize others to the symptoms of major depression so they could identify it in friends and families, and encourage them to get professional help. In the back of my mind, I was haunted by the specter of a few cases of suicide in the Modern Orthodox community that I knew about. If my article, in any way, helped prevent the loss of even one life, and the lessening of suffering amongst others, dayeinu (it would have been enough).
MF: How would you describe the Orthodox Jewish community’s understanding of depression and mental illness in 2001 compared with today? What are the most significant changes you have witnessed?
RNH: I believe that there has been great change and greater openness to discuss these issues, especially among the younger generation. People have a much greater understanding and appreciation that mental illness is not simply a “bad mood” or that you can just cheer yourself up and that the sadness will go away. More people understand that this is a real illness with biological, physiological and psychological causes that needs therapeutic treatment, including therapy, medications, and other interventions. High school and college students and young adults today are much more nonchalant about talking about going to therapy or taking medications, and fortunately this has lowered some of the stigmas.
In addition, the organized Jewish community has become much more open to discussing issues of mental health in various fora and has created organizations that deal directly with people in crisis. Part of their mandates is to provide professional referrals for therapy.
MF: Many rabbis today speak openly about mental health from the pulpit and encourage congregants to seek professional help. What role do you think rabbinic leadership has played in reducing stigma over the past twenty-five years?
RNH: A good number of rabbis that I know have been very proactive in addressing all types of mental health challenges in our community in the broadest sense of the word. They have also been willing to speak out and encourage the creation of organizations and support groups that address the challenges of anorexia, addictions and other communal problems that are tied to mental health challenges. They should continue encouraging their congregants to be open, honest, loving and supportive of every member of our community in times of joy and happiness as well as times of struggle and pain.
MF: Despite the progress that has been made, where do you still see stigma surrounding mental illness in Orthodox communities? Are there particular areas—such as shidduchim, schools, or family dynamics—where challenges remain especially acute?
RNH: Despite the great progress that has been made, there are still lingering stigmas, misunderstandings and lack of empathy in parts of our broader Orthodox community.
MF: How has your own understanding of depression evolved since writing the article? Are there things you would explain differently today based on your personal experiences and what we now know about mental health?
RNH: I would not say that my basic understanding of depression has changed. However, I have come to recognize, in a profound way, that my essay, as it was a personal story, was incomplete in its focus on depression. Depression is just one of a myriad of mental illnesses that people in the general community and in our Jewish community confront. We need to speak about the range of issues, such as anxiety disorders, OCD, bipolar disorder and schizophrenia. Mental health professionals often say that depression is like the “common cold” of mental health illnesses. More attention and space need to be given to those who have other mental illnesses in our communal discussions and focus.
MF: You were among the first Orthodox rabbis to speak publicly about your own struggles. Have you seen a new generation of rabbis, educators and community leaders become more willing to share their vulnerabilities? What impact has that had on the community?
RNH: Several prominent members of the rabbinate and the lay community have shared their personal stories, in the subsequent years to my writing my essay in Jewish Action in September 2001. However, given the extent of the phenomenon, I think it is still too low, and more people should be sharing their experiences, challenges and journeys by speaking to high school and college students and discussing the issue from the pulpit and in the pages of our publications. I would also add that I think we need to hear more narratives of women in our community who have dealt with mental health illness and the specific challenges that women have in navigating through these experiences. This can only help lessen the stigmas and break down barriers in helping people and bringing possibilities of healing.
MF: What practical steps should synagogues, schools, camps and other communal organizations take over the next decade to create healthier environments and better support those facing mental health challenges?
RNH: As I indicated above, Jewish institutions should have ongoing programming where mental health is discussed as part of the health curriculum, as part of the learning and derashot from the pulpit, and as part of special communal programming, such as an annual Mental Health Shabbat or week.
MF: If you could speak directly to someone in the Orthodox community who is currently struggling with depression and feels isolated or ashamed, what would you want that person to hear today?
RNH: That people are ready to help and be supportive; that many people just like you have gone through what you are experiencing; that it is really hard and difficult, but it often gets better with therapy and medication; and that we are ready to help you find those resources and be with you through the struggle.
MF: When future historians look back on the past twenty-five years of mental health awareness in the Orthodox community, what do you hope they will say about the contribution that your article made to the conversation?
RNH: I hope that they will say that it was part of a positive trend that helped our community be even more caring and empathetic in the spirit of imitating the Divine, who is described as ”rofeh l’shevurei lev—He heals the brokenhearted” (Tehillim 147:3), as we try help provide a measure of support to the many who experience profound pain in the course of their lives.
Michael Feldstein has been a direct marketing professional for more than forty years and has served on the adult education committees at the Young Israel of Stamford and Congregation Agudath Sholom in Stamford, Connecticut. He publishes a weekly column in the Jewish Link.