Kosher ADHD: Surviving and Thriving in the Torah-Observant World
By Simcha Chesner, PhD, and
Sara Markowitz, PhD
Kodesh Press
New York, 2023
314 pages
Reviewed by Olivia Friedman
What does it mean for a Jewish child to have ADHD? This is the question Kosher ADHD: Surviving and Thriving in the Torah-Observant World aims to explore. The book, written by Drs. Simcha Chesner and Sara Markowitz, provides insight into traits and tendencies shared by individuals with ADHD. It documents unique challenges they face within traditional or Orthodox communities, and practical techniques to assist teachers and parents in better supporting them.
Dr. Chesner and Dr. Markowitz are particularly qualified to address this topic. Both are psychologists who have ADHD. Additionally, both worked together at Dr. Chesner’s ADHD-focused high school in Israel. This book is the outcome of their lived experience, clinical expertise and on-the-ground interactions.
Dr. Chesner and Dr. Markowitz understand ADHD as resulting from “an interaction between societal conditions and neurology” (32). That interaction goes both ways, as “environment actually shapes neurology in forming the behaviors of ADHD” (32). They offer an example from Jewish tradition, comparing Eisav and King David, both of whom are referred to as admoni, red. Rabbi Samson Raphael Hirsch notes that Eisav and his brother, Yaakov, were raised in the same manner, rather than having their education differentiated to suit their individual temperaments. Eisav needed more active, hands-on experiences and the ability to be outside in nature, while Yaakov was suited for traditional forms of academic study. Unfortunately, while Yaakov “grew into an outstanding student of Torah, Eisav abandoned the Torah lifestyle and violently alienated himself from the traditions of his parents” (55). On the other hand, David grew up in a way that aligned with his temperament; he was a shepherd who spent time outdoors, using his aggression to defend his flock, and he engaged in the tactile experience of playing an instrument. This is what enabled him to become king of Israel, while Eisav was not considered fit to continue the covenant. Thus, as caregivers, it is important to understand how we can best tailor the environment at home or school for students and children with ADHD.
“ADHD is a form of behavior disability, in a sense parallel to learning disabilities” (50), Dr. Chesner and Dr. Markowitz assert. Individuals with ADHD struggle with self-control, are less sensitive to reinforcement, are more prone to act impulsively and have difficulty delaying gratification. In general, individuals with ADHD “receive poorer grades, have fewer friends, are involved in more automobile accidents, and are more likely to get divorced than peers of the general population” (51). While some believe ADHD comes with positive aspects, such as hyperfocus, divergent thinking and creative ideation, Dr. Chesner and Dr. Markowitz do not reference these positive qualities. This might be due to the focus of the book, which addresses the more challenging aspects of the diagnosis. Dr. Chesner and Dr. Markowitz note that growing up with ADHD within a traditional or Orthodox community is particularly hard because the people who are disappointed and “the sources of punishment are Torah institutions and their representatives” (51). These children may question whether to remain part of an observant community when they are constantly being reprimanded and punished by people who claim to represent the Torah path.
A child with ADHD may find it almost impossible to sit still in synagogue even when same-age peers can do so.
Dr. Chesner and Dr. Markowitz give many examples of the conflict between the temperament of a child with ADHD and expectations placed upon the child by Torah-observant society. For example, a child with ADHD may find it almost impossible to sit still in synagogue even when same-age peers can do so. They may find it difficult to wait a set amount of time between eating meat and milk. They may not remember they are supposed to wash negel vasser or say Modeh Ani when they wake up in the morning. Parents may interpret these behaviors as deliberately rebellious—proof that the child is irreligious—or become angry with the child for embarrassing them. Adults who want to help children with ADHD must learn to “separate religious commitment from ADHD-type behaviors” (101). Children with ADHD behave the way they do because “they are born with impulsive natures and require high levels of stimulation in order to remain connected to whatever the task at hand may be” (101). Although it is human to focus on the negative, adult caregivers can benefit from being mindful, focusing on the present moment with acceptance and without judgment. They can also make use of cognitive restructuring, in which they replace their immediate critical, judgmental thought (“my child is undisciplined and has no yirat Shamayim”) with a more empathic thought (“my child is neurologically challenged to sit still at this time of day; he probably already feels like a failure, and I want to try to help him”).
Dr. Chesner and Dr. Markowitz then provide clear, specific techniques to better assist an individual with ADHD in finding success in many aspects of Torah society. They recommend setting developmentally attuned goals that “are based on the child with ADHD competing only against himself” (107). If your son was incapable of sitting in shul without disturbing anyone for longer than two minutes, and now he can say the silent Amidah for ten minutes, that is a win. This is the case even if his classmate is able to sit in shul through the entire two-hour Shabbat prayer service. These goals should also be SMART, which stands for specific, measurable, attainable, relevant and timely.
Poor working memory is a symptom of ADHD. Dr. Chesner and Dr. Markowitz therefore suggest creating a Working Memory Activation Cue (WOMAC). It can be “a picture, poster, audio recording or any other external device that jogs a lethargic working memory” (139). If the goal is for the child to say Modeh Ani, then perhaps a poster with the words of the prayer visible from the child’s bed would suffice. Additionally, since many children with ADHD have fragile self-images, they recommend designing Self-Esteem Enhancing Cues (SEECs). The idea would be to connect mitzvah performance to the child’s self-esteem. For example, saying Modeh Ani attests to the child’s “personal and intimate connection with Hashem” (143), making him a true VIP. One way to showcase this could be to hang a picture of a two-seat motorcycle with the child in the driver’s seat and the spot next to him reserved for Hashem, with the caption “Say Modeh Ani and partner with the Highest” (143).
Tefillah is difficult for many children but can be especially challenging for those with ADHD. The codified text of the siddur may be of minimal interest to the child. Dr. Chesner and Dr. Markowitz suggest working memory activation cues for prayer; highlighting essential prayers; organizing a certain number of davening breaks in advance; or giving the child a job connected to davening that enables them to be active and break up the davening into chunks. This last could include serving as the gabbai or as the ba’al tefillah. Indeed, “many people with ADHD love singing and are quite proficient at learning the nusach (musical style) of tefillah . . . leading the service may allow him to connect with the community and with the tefillot. People who find a role within a community do not need to seek their identity outside of the community” (164).
. . . there are certainly individuals who view ADHD as a superpower and even attribute their success to having or thriving with ADHD.
Talmud Torah can also be difficult for students with ADHD. This is not because these children are intellectually inferior. Howard Gardner’s theory of multiple intelligences is useful here. Although school learning is “dominated by verbal and mathematical intelligence, ‘smarts’ in actual living is much more expansive and involves other types of cognitive skills” (182). These include naturalist, spatial, bodily-kinesthetic, musical, linguistic, intrapersonal, interpersonal and existential intelligence. Thus, Torah must be presented in a manner that resonates with the child. After all, “if a child who has a natural affinity towards nature is not able to direct her Torah learning towards the natural experience, it is highly unlikely that she will internalize Torah as an important life principle” (183). What this practically means for teachers is that they should broaden techniques to teach Torah beyond simply reading and writing in class: use videos and animations, allow children to act as autodidacts and study individually on their own terms, record lectures and make them available to students so they can listen to them at a time when they are more focused, and use the CAMP method when teaching Talmud.
What is the CAMP method? CAMP stands for connection, ability/achievement, meaningfulness and pleasure. For many students with ADHD to truly internalize Torah, they must feel connected to the material, that they have the ability to do the current activity, that the material is meaningful and that the material can be internalized in a pleasurable rather than torturous manner. Students with ADHD have additional challenges that teachers must plan for; these may include reading disabilities, struggling with auditory learning, difficulty sustaining attention, the fact that talmud Torah often requires children to sit still and not move, the topic of study not directly connecting to their area of interest, and their preferred method of learning being associative rather than sequential. Dr. Chesner and Dr. Markowitz offer a very specific method and structure of analysis they call Carmela’s Method to assist students who are learning Talmud. It involves having students break down, chunk and chart the text in order to turn the information into a meaningful unit.
While Kosher ADHD largely focuses on assisting children and teens, a section at the end focuses on how adults with ADHD can learn to thrive within their Jewish communities. Dr. Chesner and Dr. Markowitz offer examples of how time blindness and impulsivity, along with other executive functioning deficits, could get in the way of adults with ADHD, and the authors analyze the emotional consequences and impact on relationships caused by these challenges. They also offer specific frameworks, mindset shifts and techniques adults can use to better meet their goals or understand a spouse who has ADHD.
A major contribution of Kosher ADHD is its practical, clear depiction of symptoms and strategies. Individuals who do not have ADHD but find themselves struggling with symptoms like time blindness or an inability to think sequentially will benefit from this book.
A significant drawback of Kosher ADHD is its overall negative framing of ADHD—the challenges experienced by those who have it and the argument that this leads to poor self-esteem and self-concept. While this may be true, there are certainly individuals who view ADHD as a superpower and even attribute their success to having or thriving with ADHD. It would have been powerful to include examples of famous and successful contemporary Jewish individuals who have ADHD as role models to those who struggle with this behavior disability. If they are observant individuals, so much the better; they could share personal strategies and chizuk regarding how they attained their success and thrived in the frum community. Despite this, Kosher ADHD is an important and timely contribution and a book that belongs in every parent’s and teacher’s library.
Olivia Friedman is a Judaic studies teacher at Jewish Leadership Academy in Miami.