DIY Coping Packets: Helping Kids Stay Strong When Times Are Rough
October 7: a date that once meant nothing more than the middle of fall, or maybe your friend’s birthday, now forever carries heavy associations and haunting memories. For many, it marks a before and after.
Before opening conversations with children about heavy topics, such as the atrocities of October 7, it is important to equip them with coping tools. Teaching children what it means to cope gives them a foundation. They will then have strategies not only to process this painful and ongoing chapter of Jewish history, but also to lean on throughout other challenges in life.
In my classroom, spanning elementary through high school, I’ve made coping a concrete skill we can talk about and practice together. Over the years, I’ve also heard from educators across the globe who have used my printable coping packet (linked as a PDF below for you to use), adapting it for their own communities.
The first step is simple: explain what it means to cope. With younger children, you might describe it as “something you do to help yourself during a hard time.” With older children, you can expand into more nuanced language, emphasizing that coping doesn’t erase pain but helps manage it in healthy ways.
Next, invite kids to brainstorm their personal coping tools. Encourage them to think about what helps when they feel angry, sad, disappointed or even bored. Give a wide variety of examples so that every child can find something that resonates.
One of the greatest gifts we can give our children is the skill of coping: the ability to hold onto strength and hope no matter what comes their way.
Some children find comfort in nature, splashing in water, hiking or cloud-watching. Others turn to distraction, like reading, organizing their room or playing video games. For some, moving their bodies through sports, bike riding or dance relieves tension. For others, creative self-expression, like painting, writing and playing music, becomes a safe outlet. The more options kids are exposed to, the more likely they are to discover strategies that truly work for them.
Once they have their list, make it tangible. Invite kids to create their own “coping packet”: an envelope filled with slips of paper that each represent one of their chosen tools. They can decorate the envelope with their name or drawings, label it “My Coping Packet” and place it somewhere safe. The simple act of writing down these ideas makes the strategies feel real and accessible, and the decorated envelope serves as a visual reminder of how they can hold onto strength.
When talking specifically about October 7 and the war that continues, it can be powerful to share real-life stories of coping. There are artists who channel grief into portraits of victims, gifting the paintings to families as a way of preserving memory and offering comfort. Jewelry makers have transformed broken shrapnel into meaningful pieces that symbolize resilience. Activists and volunteers stay strong by taking action, turning their pain into a drive to help others. These examples remind children that coping is not about ignoring the pain, but about finding ways to keep moving forward with purpose.
As Shlomo Hamelech wrote in Kohelet, “A season is set for everything, a time for every experience under heaven . . . . A time for weeping and a time for laughing, a time for wailing and a time for dancing . . . .” Coping acknowledges that all these times exist, sometimes simultaneously.
Our hope and tefillah is always for peaceful days ahead. But until then, one of the greatest gifts we can give our children is the skill of coping: the ability to hold onto strength and hope no matter what comes their way.
Sari Kopitnikoff is an experiential educator, digital artist and content creator who is passionate about creating books, games, activities and shows that bring Judaism to life. You can find her books, games and lots of educational activities on her website, thatjewishmoment.com and on social media, @thatjewishmoment.