Revisiting The Giving Tree

Every Tu B’Shevat, I remember the children’s book The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein. Most people remember The Giving Tree as a sweet story about love and generosity. But read it carefully, and it teaches the wrong lesson about hakarat hatov. 

At first glance, the story feels comforting. A tree gives to a boy. The boy grows up. The tree keeps giving. Apples. Branches. A trunk. Everything it has. It sounds like devotion. 

And there is something to learn from the tree by herself. Pirkei Avot teaches that we should serve out of love, not in anticipation of reward (1:3). There is value in helping others even when we won’t benefit directly. For example, the Gemara tells the story of Choni Hame’aggel who planted a carob tree even though it would take a lifetime to bear fruit. He says, “Ki heichi dishtalu li avahati, shetali namei livra’i—Just as my ancestors planted for me, I too am planting for my descendants” (Ta’anit 23a). 

However, even when kindness is offered without expectation of reward, the recipient still has a responsibility of hakarat hatov. The Gemara says, “Orei’ach tov, mahu omer? Kamah terachot tarach ba’al habayit bishvili—A good guest, what does he say? ‘How much effort did the host expend on my behalf’” (Berachot 58a). 

But the boy in The Giving Tree never says “thank you,” never gives back, never pauses to acknowledge the tree’s sacrifice. 

Through a Torah lens, this is not a model relationship. It’s a failure of hakarat hatov. 

And this isn’t just about people. We live in a world that gives constantly—food, shelter, resources, beauty. When we consume without gratitude, we repeat the mistake of the boy in the story. 

A healthier message would teach to notice, appreciate and respond to generosity. Not only should we learn to have hakarat hatov to our loved ones, but with everything we get from nature, we should have hakarat hatov to Hashem’s world as well. 

Sarah Dyckman is associate editor of Jewish Action.