Leave No Neshamah Behind

My husband and I have been working in kiruv as a team for almost eighteen years. Our approach has always been: What can we do to welcome more Jews into the community tent?

Getting kiruv right is especially important since October 7, with so many previously unengaged Jews suddenly eager to explore their roots. We as a community must do a better job of creating opportunities that intrigue them enough to both show up initially and come back for more.

First impressions matter. Our shul membership is about 50 percent observant Jews who are ba’alei teshuvah. The rest are beginning to learn and grow through our outreach initiatives. At our shul, Aish Chaim, which serves the greater Philadelphia area, we have created a space where every single Jew who walks through the door knows he’ll meet a rabbi and rebbetzin who will listen to him and value him, no matter his level of observance, knowledge or background. Our motto is Leave no neshamah behind. We greet everyone with unconditional love.

Practically speaking, that means we show genuine interest in their lives, asking about their families and careers, their beliefs and struggles. Only then do we broach anything spiritual. These Jews are smart and successful and want to learn about Judaism in an authentic, intellectually honest way. If they raise a question I cannot answer, we research and figure it out together.

Every encounter we as Orthodox Jews have with someone who is not frum has the potential to plant a seed that may blossom down the line.

Kiruv is not about us, the professionals. Everything we do is within the framework of Jewish values, of course. But we don’t push an agenda. Our goal is to inspire and educate, to enable people to get comfortable with their Jewish identity. We also create a safe space where Jews can openly explore their worries about global antisemitism or events in Israel, topics that are nearly impossible to discuss anywhere else.

Over the past year, we hosted the mother of a murdered soldier as well as hostage awareness events that drew wide audiences, including non-frum first-timers. These programs inspired so many people to commit to helping others during the ongoing crisis, hoping to push back against all the hatred with light.

For example, some of our members have begun lighting Shabbos candles for hostages who are unable to perform the mitzvah in captivity. People who never prayed before are now davening daily for an ailing community member. Others give tzedakah to organizations that assist chayalim, reframing their regular charitable giving from a nice thing to do into an act that is deeply, meaningfully Jewish.

Curated opportunities, like our weekly women’s challah bake, offer a sense of belonging. Attendance tripled this year, not only because of resurgent interest in Judaism, but because I personally invited everyone instead of just hanging up a flyer. We’ve included several frum women as well because it shows those who are not yet observant that it’s not only the kiruv professionals who care about them. They see that we are normal and friendly, so when a religious family invites them for a Shabbos meal, they are not only comfortable but very happy to attend.

Still, the impact of our kiruv efforts may not always be so immediate. For example, we recently heard from a very Jewishly engaged young man who has wonderful memories of spending Shabbos with his parents at our home when he was a young child. Every encounter we as Orthodox Jews have with someone who is not frum has the potential to plant a seed that may blossom down the line.

We tread carefully, however. No one wants to feel like a pet project or have a sense that outreach is just a fundraising hook. Sure, the shul electric bill must be paid. But as spiritual entrepreneurs, we have to be careful not to muddle the lines.

Rebbetzin Gevura Davis is the director of engagement for Aish Chaim, an outreach and engagement initiative serving the greater Philadelphia Jewish community and an affiliate of Aish HaTorah international.

Merri Ukraincik has written for Tablet, the Lehrhaus, the Forward and other publications, including Jewish Action. She is the author of a book on the history of the Joint Distribution Committee.