Avi Apfel learning with his son at an Avos Ubanim program.
For the past eight years, Avi Apfel and his family have lived in Rhawnhurst, a quiet, park-filled neighborhood of Northeast Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, with a mixed urban-suburban vibe. The Apfels deeply value what their small yet growing frum community has to offer. They also appreciate what it does not.
“It’s warm and friendly and everyone knows everyone else,” Apfel says. “There’s no materialistic pressure. Regardless of our individual means, we tend to live in the same four-bedroom, semi-attached houses.”
With about 250 Orthodox families, Rhawnhurst is the largest of the four neighborhoods that compose the Northeast Philadelphia community. The others are Elkins Park, Somerton and Bensalem, with 75–100 observant families each. They share schools, a kosher supermarket and several kosher eateries.
Originally from the more in-town community of West Hempstead, New York, Apfel never imagined settling with his family in a small place like Rhawnhurst. Yet he came to value the perks of the out-of-town lifestyle when he lived in Pittsburgh, where he pursued doctoral studies in biostatistics after learning in the kollel at Ner Yisroel in Baltimore, Maryland.
He and his wife, Rivky, loved the proximity of Pittsburgh’s Jewish amenities, as well as “the exposure our kids had to every sort of Jew, another huge advantage of this kind of community,” he says. Apfel also had unique opportunities, like learning b’chavruta with both his shul rav and the rosh kollel—something he never imagined possible in Baltimore.
“We had been hesitant to leave the large, beautiful, well-established and growth-minded Baltimore kehillah behind. Once in Pittsburgh, though, we found it easier to feel we made a difference because of the community’s size.”
For example, Apfel began giving shiurim, something he’d never done before. “It was a case of rising to the occasion to fill a need,” he notes. He even joined a course offered to young kollel members—he was made an honorary member—to hone their public speaking skills.
Yet, Apfel never considered himself an activist or a community builder. That changed when, with his PhD in hand, he and his family had to pull up roots again. On the recommendation of a friend, they investigated the Northeast Philly area, which checked most of their boxes.
The community was both within reach of the East Coast–based pharma industry, where he worked, and driving distance to family in New York. It had the small-town values they appreciated in Pittsburgh and schools that matched their hashkafot. Apfel also knew that a community kollel was in the works.
“[The kollel] was a huge draw, a priority for my own learning and for what I believe it adds to a community’s ruchniyus.” Despite the academic demands of his doctoral program, he’d managed to attend sedarim at the Kollel Jewish Learning Center during his years in Pittsburgh. Once he moved to Philly, he planned to work afternoons and evenings and spend the mornings at the kollel.
To be heavily involved in an initiative like this, you must have thick skin . . . . And that’s before you start fundraising or recruiting a board.
When the Apfels came to town, Rhawnhurst was undergoing a demographic shift. Most members were older families in the process of relocating, with very few young ones replacing them. Gradually, however, recruitment efforts began to bear fruit.
“These efforts inspired me to move!” Apfel says. Fourteen other families moved in the same year the Apfels did, many finding Rhawnhurst through the OU Savitsky Home Relocation Fair. (Rhawnhurst still participates.)
“We all found a wholesome environment in which to raise our families, without feeling compelled to keep up with the Joneses,” Apfel points out. “But after living here several months already, the kollel project wasn’t making progress. I was disappointed, having chosen Rhawnhurst on the pretext of there being one.”
In the meantime, he learned part time at a special kollel for educators at one of the local shuls. “I knew I had to be patient before getting involved, to have humility, to first let people know me, to earn their respect. To use seichel to get a real lay of the land.”
Luckily, Rhawnhurst is small enough that it didn’t take that long. Apfel soon met all the main players and came to understand the reasons why the process of establishing a kollel had stalled, among them both funding challenges and getting broad buy-in from the community.
Next, he approached a local rav.
“That’s where you start when you want to get things done because he [the rav] has a unique bird’s eye view of the kehillah and its needs,” says Apfel. “We discussed the pros and cons of bringing in the kollel and whether it would really get more people to learn. Only with the rav’s endorsement that it represented a huge growth opportunity for the whole community did I join the team that was working to make it happen.”
The first step was to create consensus around the idea of having a kollel in the neighborhood. “Not everyone was as eager as we were or even comfortable with it,” says Apfel. “Some people were worried about the financial burden. Others weren’t convinced it would enhance spiritual life in Rhawnhurst.”
“Things started to move once Avi got involved,” recalls Rabbi Mordechai Terebelo, rav of Congregation Ahavas Torah.
Rabbi Mordechai Terebelo, rav of Congregation Ahavas Torah, seen here with one of the Apfel boys. Photos courtesy of Avi Apfel
“Avi played a huge role in winning over those who were hesitant or uncomfortable,” says Rosh Kollel Rabbi Yonah Burr. “It was really something to see his impact. He’d only been here for a few months.”
However, Apfel is quick to point out some of the personal challenges that arose along the way. Most notably: His commitment to the project on occasion made him less than popular. “To be heavily involved in an initiative like this, you must have thick skin,” he says. “And that’s before you start fundraising or recruiting a board.”
Not a Business Plan
Often people forget that Hashem is your partner. They approach community building like a business plan. But Jewish growth often happens miraculously. Hashem wants Torah communities. If you believe He’s your partner, you’ll take leaps of faith—not recklessly, but with emunah.
—Rabbi Ezra Sarna, OU director of Torah and Halacha Initiatives
The key to staying on course, he says, is to consult da’at Torah “every step of the way. It ensures you’re doing the right thing and for altruistic reasons, especially when you face inevitable pushback.”
He adds that when it comes to establishing a new institution or looking to make any kind of change, this is true anywhere. “So, you have to ask yourself: Am I thinking about the community or my own daled amos?”
When they began the search for a rosh kollel, Apfel says, “We had to carefully weigh the needs of the whole kehillah, not just what would be good for the individuals on the board. There’s a spectrum of people who can serve in the role. For Rhawnhurst, it had to be a community-centric talmid chacham who would also find a way to connect with everyone here.”
As with the kollel, Apfel’s latest community-based leadership effort—helping to build a new boys’ high school—is about creating institutions that meet the needs of the greater Philadelphia kehillah. “Most of our boys go out of town for high school because there isn’t a local option that matches what they are looking for,” says Apfel.
“My eldest son learns in the Talmudical Yeshiva of Philadelphia, and I have another son in lower elementary school. But from a broad community standpoint right now, and for the future, we need to build a more community-oriented yeshivah with strong Torah learning.”
In addition to his work on behalf of the high school, Apfel is involved in some way with nearly every Jewish institution in Rhawnhurst, giving of his time, talents and resources.
What keeps him motivated when obstacles get in the way?
“Mindset is key. Stay passionate about whatever it is you want to build because you’ll undoubtedly need to persevere.”
While Apfel does not expect Rhawnhurst to ever become a large community, he says the neighborhood continues to grow with a sprinkling of three to five new families annually, with very limited attrition. Among his own recruits to Rhawnhurst are his parents, a brother and two brothers-in-law and their families, who found Apfel’s enthusiasm for Northeast Philly contagious.
“While we don’t have all the amenities of a larger community, the good more than outweighs that. You can have real impact on Jewish life here,” he says.
Rabbi Burr credits Apfel for “helping to lay the groundwork that makes our community so attractive.”
Still, Apfel is surprised by his own accidental activism. “If someone had asked me ten years ago, I would never have envisioned myself playing this kind of role.”
Merri Ukraincik has written for Tablet, the Lehrhaus, the Forward and other publications, including Jewish Action. She is the author of a book on the history of the Joint Distribution Committee.
In This Section
Building a Community: Stories from the Ground Up
Getting It Done, and Doing It Right, in Houston: Yakov Polatsek by S. Schreiber
Warmth Beyond Sunshine in Phoenix: Shaun and Gary Tuch by Sandy Eller
Living Together in Linden: Andy and Samantha Van Houter by Sandy Eller
Putting Springfield, New Jersey, on the Map: Ben Hoffer by Judy Gruen
How a Shul Rewrote Its Story: Yosef Kirschner by Judy Gruen
The Accidental Activist: Avi Apfel by Merri Ukraincik
Modeling Leadership in Memphis: Noam and Dr. Deena Davidovics by Rachel Schwartzberg
Where is Tennessee? By Rachel Schwartzberg
Snooker and Second Chances: How OU Israel’s Teen Center Is Changing Young Lives in Ariel by JA Staff
Inside Ariel’s Jewish Campus Scene by JA Staff
Building a Community: Pointers from the Pros