Remember that you are your child’s greatest advocate. If you suspect that your child is struggling academically or if you hear concerns from your child’s teacher, it’s your job to help them get the support they need. While the journey may feel overwhelming, taking it one step at a time can make all the difference.
Pay attention: You know your child best. Notice changes in behavior, attitude or academic performance that may signal a need for support. Keep your child’s strengths front and center; they are often the key to future success.
Build your team: Reach out to your child’s teachers, school professionals, trusted organizations and (when appropriate) a developmental pediatrician or psychiatrist, as well as parents who have walked this path before.
Evaluate: Information is power. A comprehensive evaluation helps identify your child’s strengths and needs, and ensures that appropriate supports can be put in place.
Understand the results: Take the time to read, learn and seek guidance on what the testing says about your child.
Collaborate on a plan: Use the evaluation results to work with your team of professionals to create a plan tailored to your child’s unique needs.
Document everything: Keep copies of evaluations, reports, emails and meeting notes. Good records help you track progress and advocate effectively.
Implement, monitor and adjust: A plan is only effective if it is implemented consistently. Monitor progress and adjust supports—whether accommodations, therapies, behavioral strategies or medication—as your child’s needs evolve.
Communicate: Keep the lines of communication open and learn from one another. You may discover that a strategy—such as taking a music and movement break before tackling a demanding task—works well for your child at home. Share it with your child’s teacher and support professionals. Likewise, they may observe something important, such as difficulty following multi-step directions. Be receptive.
Support your child: In the flurry of activity and concern, remember that your child is at the center of this journey and may need extra time, attention, empathy and understanding.
Take care of yourself: Extend to yourself the same compassion you give to your child. Daven for clarity and siyata d’Shmaya, and remember that you are not alone.
Celebrate every victory: Every success, no matter how small, is worth celebrating. Your child’s accomplishments may seem minor—the kinds of things others take for granted—such as putting a paper in the correct section of a notebook, remembering to write their name at the top of the page or following the rules of a game. Or the success may come outside the classroom: having a solo in a school choir, getting a part in the school play or holding their own on the basketball court. Recognizing and celebrating these moments builds your child’s confidence and pride.
Hold on to your vision: A diagnosis is a tool, not a definition. Continue to see your child through the lens of possibility. Hashem entrusted this child to you. With the right supports, your child will flourish.
Amian Frost Kelemer has worked in Jewish education for over thirty years, starting out as the principal of a Sunday school for children with disabilities. She works for a family foundation focused on Jewish education, as well as for the Maryland State Department of Education’s Division of Special Education. Amian is a doctoral candidate in Leadership and Innovation at NYU Steinhardt, researching the ecosystem of support for Orthodox children with disabilities. Her favorite roles are mother, mother-in-law and savta.
In This Section
A Matter of Focus: Inside the Mind of a Teen with ADHD by Leah B.
What to Do When Your Child Is Struggling by Amian Frost Kelemer
The View on the Ground: A teacher’s perspective, as told to Rachel Schwartzberg