What the study reveals about relationships with religious figures
Seeing an unexpected element appear repeatedly in a research study is always a fascinating occurrence, and in the case of the OU study on attrition within the observant Jewish community, numerous participants mentioned one factor over and over again as they shared their life stories despite never being asked about it at all.
That factor?
Their interactions with rabbis.
“This wasn’t something we looked for,” observed Dr. Moshe Krakowski, professor at the Azrieli Graduate School of Jewish Education and Administration at Yeshiva University and the study’s lead researcher. “It wasn’t something that was built into the interview. It came up organically.”
In fact, a four-page section of the report titled “It’s Hard to Overstate the Importance of Rabbis” details multiple positive and negative experiences shared by the study’s participants, all of whom volunteered the information on their own. While more than half said their experiences with rabbis were positive, some negative experiences were also reported by more than half of the study’s participants, with some admitting to having mixed interactions—both positive and negative—with rabbis.
“Those interactions are very significant for people and hold a lot of weight,” observed Dr. Rachel Ginsberg, the study’s principal researcher. “If you are a rabbi or a teacher, understanding this will affect the way you interact with others, the way you approach your relationships and the way you comport yourself.”
Even seemingly small interactions with a rabbinic figure can have a profound impact. Leaving Orthodoxy seemed like the obvious choice for Shlomo, who realized early on in his life that he had same-sex attraction.With its emphasis on marriage and building a family, the Torah seemed to have been written for everyone but him, however Shlomo, who shared his story with Jewish Action, was sure that if he revealed his struggles, his rabbis would reject him. Yet over time, Shlomo realized that Orthodoxy resonated with him more than any other branch of Judaism. Seated next to a Chabad rabbi from Michigan on a plane, Shlomo had what he called “a really big G-d moment.”
“He told me that Judaism isn’t all or nothing, and I’ve actually started keeping more Shabbat again,” said Shlomo. “I’ve been learning to feel more like I fit in.”
In the study, the term rabbi is used more loosely and refers to anyone in a position of religious authority. It encompasses communal leaders, heads of school, rebbetzins, teachers (both of limudei kodesh and secular studies) and mechanchot, among others.
One participant in the study described his rabbi as “my rabbi, my friend, my father, my brother, my therapist, my home, my everything.” Another shared how he felt when a noted community rabbi, with whom he had always shared a bond, drove two and a half hours each way to come visit him in a rehab facility.
“The level of impact from rabbis and religious figures is tremendous,” observed Dr. Ginsberg. “I don’t think people realize how powerful these experiences are.”
In This Section
Leaving the Fold: The OU’s New Study Provides Insights Into Attrition
Why Study Attrition? by Dr. Moshe Krakowski
Parenting on Different Pages by Merri Ukraincik